renewal of vows/wedding

cansley143

we r wanting to renew our vows and have a wedding too. first time was just at the jp and no family there. i know its not proper ettiquette but its what i want. i want to have brides maids and he wants to have grooms men and i want to wear a wedding dress. what is everyones oppions of it? we wont do like the daddy/daughtter dance, or wedding showers but i do want my dads to walk me down the isle. i went on another website and it basically said that everything i want is wrong and silly since im all ready married. but do yall think i can still have what i want and not be too far from the correct ettiquette?

-crystal 

10yearsinluv

Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this. Most wedding boards are going to be opposed to it, because somehow it's offensive to un-married brides. I could care less honestly. The more parties, the merrier. It's not a wedding though, since you are already married, but I don't see anything wrong with planning something big. Just make sure that people know not to bring gifts, host everyone properly and be prepared for some people to just not be that interested because a lot of people don't think the same as you do. You'd probably be better served by just doing what you want to do and not seeking justification from wedding boards full of strangers, because you are never going to get 100% positive feedback on this idea from these forums. See what the vibe is amongst your family and those whom you'd invite, and plan from there.

right1thistime

did you make this yourself?

awayagain

here's my opinion - go cut yourself a big hunk of bug cake, sit down with some books and learn to spell.  You should be thankful he married you the first time.  I wouldn't push it if I were you.
On the off chance this isn't total mud, how many Dads do you have?  In which sea is the isle that they will walk you down?

mybooboos

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_renewal-of-vowswedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:5e89d55e-fa0b-4e27-83e7-c13d23fb8680Post:b1af8e5c-35ba-4497-9619-41869cae7e93">Re: renewal of vows/wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]here's my opinion - go cut yourself a big hunk of bug cake, <strong>sit down with some books and learn to spell.  You should be thankful he married you the first time.  I wouldn't push it if I were you. On the off chance this isn't total mud, how many Dads do you have?</strong>  In which sea is the isle that they will walk you down?
Posted by awayagain[/QUOTE]

Whoa...Isn't this a bit harsh for this board? Many women have parents that have divorced and remarried, thereby giving them more than one male parent, and or more than one man who acted in a fatherly manner that deserved the honor of escorting her down the aisle.  Also, should misspellings and grammatical errors discount someone's worth in ever being married?

Yes, a vow renewal isn't a wedding, and there are strong opinions about it, but I don't think your assault was warranted.

Marrin713

aisle...aisle...aisle......sorry it's a pet peeve.

OP - if it's what you want then do it.  Why ask for opinions?

And it's never "just a JP" - it's the ceremony that united the two of you....it's not "just" an anything.  My second was a JP in the courthouse.  My first was just a church wedding........see how that sounds?

Okay off my rant now.  Carry on.

ETA:  Donna, where in hell did that cake come from?

right1thistime

Google Crystal Ansley.  (Making a point about putting your whole name out there.)

emmajoy100

Wow, so many people are harsh!  My opinion - do what you want.  My husband and I are renewing our vows on our 7th (yes, 7th, not 10th or anything significant so I know I'm going to get at least one snarky comment) anniversary.  We didn't get the big wedding that we planned and had already started paying for due to military commitment on both our parts.  We have spent the majority of the last 7 years overseas and couldn't have the big ceremony.  So we're doing it now to recommit ourselves to one another.  I don't think that registering or asking for gifts is proper and there are some things that we personally are going to leave out, i.e., giving away the bride, bridesmaids, groomsmen.  We're going to use our kids (his, hers and ours) because none of them but the oldest were there when we did get married.  He (oldest son) is going to do the ceremony and its just going to be quick, simple and then a party.  But just be careful to remember that you are already married and that you might get a few people's feathers ruffled by doing it big.  Best of luck!

Marrin713

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_renewal-of-vowswedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:5e89d55e-fa0b-4e27-83e7-c13d23fb8680Post:5c0669e4-9857-4676-ae4c-d80efe068128">Re: renewal of vows/wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Wow, so many people are harsh!</strong>  My opinion - do what you want.  My husband and I are renewing our vows on our 7th (yes, 7th, not 10th or anything significant so I know I'm going to get at least one snarky comment) anniversary.  We didn't get the big wedding that we planned and had already started paying for due to military commitment on both our parts.  We have spent the majority of the last 7 years overseas and couldn't have the big ceremony.  So we're doing it now to recommit ourselves to one another.  I don't think that registering or asking for gifts is proper and there are some things that we personally are going to leave out, i.e., giving away the bride, bridesmaids, groomsmen.  We're going to use our kids (his, hers and ours) because none of them but the oldest were there when we did get married.  He (oldest son) is going to do the ceremony and its just going to be quick, simple and then a party.  But just be careful to remember that you are already married and that you might get a few people's feathers ruffled by doing it big.  Best of luck!
Posted by emmajoy100[/QUOTE]

She asked for "oppions" and we gave them.  Are we not doing it right?

right1thistime

Emmajoy -If you had to forgo the wedding that you wanted due to military service, then I don't care if you have the hoopla on your 6 year 5 month 1 week and 4day anniversary - you should have it as you want it.   And I would expect that if you are independent enough to protect our country's safety and security (and thank you both for that, by the way), that you don't need the validation of a wedding board (or two) to go ahead and do it. 
I am "harsh" because she begins by saying that she knows its not proper ettiquette (sic) and doesn't care and ends by asking if she can have what she wants and not be too far from correct ettiquette (sic).  That and the text speak.  And the internet naivete.  Oh, heck, the whole dang thing.  ~Donna

tdq

Did I stumble onto the Snarky Brides board by mistake?

My only comment is it's not a wedding; it's renewing your vows. How you do it is up to you. And ignore the grammar and spelling Nazis.

Sarahkayfa

Have an anniversary party. You're married.

NPlanker

I'm sorry that people were rude to you. I believe you should do what you want for your vow renewal and if people don't like it they don't have to come. I am wanting something similar not including brides maids/grooms men because I was married in Vegas. We are still as much in love now as we were then and want our family and friends to celebrate with us! I have had nothing but support from his family and mine and I'm thankful for that. BTW it will be for our 10 year anniversary.

berrygoodmom

You can do whatever you want to! Don't let anyone tell you that it is silly since you are already married....If you want a huge shabang....do it! My husband and I got married 5 years ago at Christmastime in Houston. The only people there were my husbands parents, his grandmother and great-grandmother.  None of our friends  or my family were able to be there and neither was my son so we are renewing our vows in July and all of our close friends and family will be there and then having a huge pool party for the reception. It's not what everyone else wants.....it is what you and your husband want and if people don't support ya'll's decision, then don't invite them. 

daniellem5

do what you want to do! my husband and i are having a renewal on our 10 year, we weren't able to have a wedding and reception like we wanted to due to myself getting cancer, we had delayed getting married for 2 years because of financial situation from medical bills so now we are going to have a big thing to celebrate everything. Every woman deserves to have that one very special day no matter when you get to do that.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_renewal-of-vowswedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:5e89d55e-fa0b-4e27-83e7-c13d23fb8680Post:5a35f497-be86-4763-9495-80e5c702055d">Re: renewal of vows/wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Have an anniversary party. You're married.
Posted by Sarahkayfa[/QUOTE]

There ya go!  Have fun and enjoy.

Prissnboot

People need to get a life of their own and stop criticizing other people's decisions.  Who are you to deny someone else's happiness???  Exactly how does someone's "re-wedding" or whatever term you want to call it affect your life?  IT DOESN'T, that's how. 

If you can't say something nice, then keep your mouth shut!