Shower Question - Kind of long

brandeeteer

I'm having kind of a weird shower. I've been married once before and FI and I both already have too much stuff so we weren't originally going to have one. But MOH and my mom really wanted to throw one so I gave them cart blanche to do what ever they wanted.

So we are having the shower at MOH's house - and they invited some people on the wedding list but also people who weren't invited. We are having a small reception and I have tons of church family so they wanted to invite some of those people.

The invitation says "Instead of gifts, please consider making a donation to the PAUMC Food Cupboard in Bride's honor" The food cupboard at our church is a ministry that I really support so I love the idea.

So finally the question...do I write thank you's to the people who make a donation - I'm not sure I'll even know who donated what or if they did at all. Or should I write thank you for coming notes or other ideas?

bridetobe71412

I think if you wanted, it would be a nice touch to say "Thank you for coming" -- not for the donation, though.

AllyG303

ditto what bridetobe said.  You don't want to make your guests feel guilty for not contributing, so I think you should send thank yous to everybody for coming

kidlets2

Yep, agree with PP.

This is also our 2nd marriage for both FI and I and we both have kids. My aunt threw me a shower and wanted me to register somewhere even though we really don't need anything. I did the traditional upgrade type stuff at BBB but we also made a registry at Menards & my aunt mentioned on the shower invites that we would also like family type activities - tickets to a local amusement park, water park, etc. It may be too late for your shower, but maybe you could spread the word through your close family that if someone felt the need to buy you a gift, they could go that route.

ETA - you still may get people who bring gifts to your shower.

mbody

How are you going to know if they make a donation? Like are you going to call the church and check up on them? Just write a thank you note for them coming. 

brandichamberlain

You really should not invite anyone to a shower that is not invited to the wedding. It is considered poor etiquette and very rude. You also should not request donations on an invitation. That is the equivalent to asking for cash for yourself. Also considered poor etiquette and very rude. I would really evaluate these things if you haven't already mailed out the invitations.

brandeeteer

The shower invites already went out. I'm not supposed to know about it but a friend slipped up and mentioned it to me. I think I'll just do thank yous to everyone who attends.