Why do peopel assume the church is free?

mom2tomany

I don't know why everyone keeps telling us our church shouldn't be charging us to hold the wedding there. We've had more then one person ask why we're saving so much when we can just go married at our church and it's free. It's not! The church is $400. That's to cover their cost of heating or cooling the building for the day and having someone there to unlock the church and stuff like that. We go to a medium sized church and using it for the reception too. Compared to everywhere else I checked that's a steal! I'm frusterated at everyone acting shocked that they charge and start telling me I can get married at their church because theirs would never charge a person to get married there. I finally started saying "You might want to check that before you offer". LOL For someone reason people think since this isn't our first wedding we shouldn't be spending so much money on it. In reality my budge is only $4,000 and that's cheap if you ask me!

ivygarland

I don't know why people would say that churches aren't free. The one I was going to get married at long ago was $1000 -- and that was 12 years ago! 

Smurfette1231

My church is "free". Meaning if you were a contributing member of the church the previous year it is totally free. We just moved so we were not and it will cost us $600. Which I don't find outlandish at all. Especially since we can just contribute it to the church anytime between now and the wedding.  So we are just putting $25 a week in our tithe envelope and it knocks a little off the balance every week. At least then its going to a better cause then some wedding chapel lol

LindaN21

I don't think the church is ever free. We're paying $225. plus $50 for the custodian just to have the ceremony there. Of course the organist or any musicians are separately priced.

melissamc2

Our church, which my fiance's family has been a member of for decades, is nearly a thousand dollars.

Now, I don't expect "free," but I do have issues with churches charging SO much to use the building for a wedding for a few reasons.

1.  For Christians, a church wedding is mandated by the Word of God.  You should not be charged outlandish fees to follow God's Law.

2.  Churches, in physical form, are around for the sole purpose of the congregation, fellowship, and obedience of Followers.  Being married in the eyes of God falls into that.

3.  It does NOT cost hundreds of dollars to open a building and the heating and cooling settings of a church are constant, not just on a day by day basis.  Plus, the "opening and closing" of the building is done by the custodian.  (See 4)

4.  Extra custodial time and things of that nature are perfectly resonable expenses, but let's face it - the custodian is not gettng hundreds of dollars.   The church administration is, therefore that reasoning for the huge fees is moot.  (Same goes for musicians, etc.)

5.  Ministers are paid by the church itself.  When you make the leap to enter into the Ministry full time, you accept that you will be performing the work of God.  Marrying people is one of those things.  Having you pay extra for that would be like having you pay extra if you had a devestating crisis and called your Pastor one night to receive counsel/comfort.  An extra thank you/love offering is completely understandably, but fees into the hudreds or thousands is not.


Up until several decades ago, churches WERE free to use for marriages, Baptisms, and funerals.  Gratuities/offerings were commonplace, but not required.  Due to the lowered amounts of regular tithing, the explosion of the wedding industry, and people wanting to make wedding elaborate affairs that gave church the freedom to make extra cash, outright fees for use were born.  In the beginning, churches in towns/cities offered competitive "pricing" and were all on pretty even ground.  Once it was realized that some were sought after a little more often by outsiders, the fees were able to go up and up and up.

In the end, it's not "right" from a Christian/Biblical standpoint.  However, people keep paying it and so it will continue.

nabrighteyes

My Church is "free" to me and my hubby.  But we are also contributing members and sit on the leadership board.  However, we do CHARGE $75.00 for an event to cover operational costs and cleaning after each use.  And if you're NOT a member, we charge an officiant fee. 

Nonetheless, we got married a romantic chapel on a Resort Campus and that was $4.00 more per person.

melissamc2

Retread - I believe you missed the points I made referring to the standard offerings given to everyone who contributes their time and how I absolutely agree that they are fair.  I never once said no one "deserved" money.  I said that it does not take nearly a thousand dollars to open a building - and it does not.  I cannot speak for your husband's particular church, but ours is NOT giving that amount to anyone who is truly contributing their time - but some money IS going to people who are doing nothing. (The fee does not change for the church organist, even though she will not even be present.)

I respect your point of view, and absolutely understand that each church has different views/policies - and  I didn't even disagree with most of what you said, but no one will ever validate a church charging people extreme amounts to perform a religious ceremony.

I also haven't "pitched a fit" over anything if you noticed.  I said I didn't like it, but it is the way it is.  That's how I feel about a lot of things in life.  I cannot change practices simply because I disagree, but I don't have to pretend I don't have an opinion on them and that isn't necessarly "asking" for anything.

Have a nice Sunday.

hccpsu

The church I grew up in would have been free had I wanted to have our ceremony there, but of course we would have paid the minister and the organist.  That's in a small town, though, so maybe they're still going by the "old" rules.

The church I attend now (same denomination) costs $700 for members and $1000 for nonmembers.

mswood1977

Our church was free to us because we are contributing parish members, but it is $1000 for non-members.

I think people just assume that churchs being non-profit won't charge you, they don't take into consideration the cost of keeping the lights on and the heating/air conditioning, not to mention cleaning.

My husband's god mother was recently shocked when the church where her daughter was baptized want to charge them $1000 for her daughters upcoming wedding, even though no one in their family had set foot in that church since the baptism.  They decided to have the wedding and reception at a local country club instead of having it in the church.

buckettgirl

Our church is free for active members; otherwise the charge is $500 in addition to the honorarium for the officiant.

prusgirl

I guess I am in the minority, the church was free (to me).  But, before anyone goes wild we didn't use it.  We did everything in one place.

Why was it free?  I've been a member for more than 25 years, I've served on the Board and I have been the Treasurer.  So, they waived all fees for me.  They were just sssoooo happy I was FINALLY getting married.

I really think because our church is so small (under 200) anyone who wanted to get married there -- we would just pitch in!  That's how we are for any occasion.  We really only get paid for non-members.

thealphabride

50 dollars vs. 1000 dollars is a big difference.

It is not outlandish at all for the officient and church to be paid for their time and expenses however I believe that 1K is outragous.

AbbeyS2011

I find it amusing also that people think a church is free to use as they wish.  I know of many churches that waive the fees for active members, but not all.

I have been blessed - I am getting married in a local church for $100, but the officiant will not be available so we have to find someone else to perform the ceremony.  This does not include the music, but my FI knows the person who runs the sound system well, so I am sure we will get a good rate, plus there are no restrictions on music. 

I viewed one church where the minister was so poker-faced and stern, and very opinionated about EVERYTHING I asked about that I decided I would keep looking.  Plus, his attitude implied to me I was wasting his time, so I walked away.