Second Weddings

Re: Nothing

  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I think it's touching that you want to have your fiance's great grandfather involved. My fiance's grandmother just passed away last month at 101 years of age, and I'd met her a couple of times (she lived out of state).

    You can have any party you want two years down the road. Just call it what it is, either an anniversary party or "vow renewal", and I think you'll be fine. Calling it a wedding reception would be OK, but disingenuous to your guests, who probably already know you are married.
  • edited December 2011
    Jenn - I am not so sure about this.  I agree it's touching that you want to have him present, but it feels like you are putting on a show for him.  Would you live as a married couple after the ceremony he witnesses? File taxes as a married couple?  Then you are getting married now.  What will the purpose of the party in two years be?  To have a pageant?  Wear a princess dress?  Get a lot of gifts?  Host a celebration with a lot of people that you cannot afford to host now? 
    Why can't you host the larger event now or in 6 months?  No venue? No money?  Not the time of year you envisioned? 
    My, perhaps unpopular, opinion is that a 98 year old great grandparent doesn't expect to participate in a great grandson's wedding.  He knows you are engaged, you can share the planning details as they are nailed down.  "Papa, here's a picture of me in my gown at the dress shop.  It isn't quite right, but see how the lace and the crystals look?  Isn't that pretty?"  "Papa, GGS is going to wear a black tuxedo with a red bow tie.  Don't you think he'll be handsome?"  "Papa, we're going to dance to At Last, do you want to hear the song and watch us dance?  How do you think we look?"  
    As far as having him be the best man, if he is dying now, even if you plan it for 3 months from now, he still might not be able to participate.  It would be a symbolic role no matter what.  Just as many women carry a locket for a deceased loved one, perhaps your Fi could do something to honor his gr-grandfather when you eventually get married in 2013. He could wear his watch, pocket watch, wedding ring, or a locket on his lapel. You could mention his gr-grandfather as one of his best men in memoriam.
    If you have been together for 7 years, you have known he was old for a long time.  You are either quite young, or having waited for another reason. I suggest you stay with your plan to marry in 2013.  What you are proposing will not be a second wedding.  ~Donna
  • edited December 2011
    Oh for pete's sake, why post and DD? 
    And if what you really want is for someone to validate you - why not just say, "here's what we are doing, if you agree post below, if not I don't have the backbone to hear it?" 

    UGH!  ~Donna
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_one-wedding-dying-grandparent-then-second-wedding-rest-of-family-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:66c24106-ce53-4baf-ba5b-7e064f3366a7Post:e8fb00b7-1efe-4db6-8fe3-02e65c8d810d">Re: Nothing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh for pete's sake, why post and DD?  And if what you really want is for someone to validate you - why not just say, "here's what we are doing, if you agree post below, if not I don't have the backbone to hear it?"  UGH!  ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    Awww, man!  Now that I have a  job, I miss all the good stuff.  Shoot!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" />
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_one-wedding-dying-grandparent-then-second-wedding-rest-of-family-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:66c24106-ce53-4baf-ba5b-7e064f3366a7Post:f1d29072-b1ca-4aad-8dcb-5660189fe0dc">Re: Nothing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Nothing : Awww, man!  Now that I have a  job, I miss all the good stuff.  Shoot! 
    Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

    You MUST quit that job Lisa!
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    JennylynnAE......something is rotten in Denmark.
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