My 2nd, his 1st - friend want to throw a shower - HELP!

jbtobe

I was married 6 years ago, it lasted a year - no kids. A friend of mine wants to throw a shower for me, but I feel guilty. We’re having a small, private ceremony, and will probably not have any type of reception. If we have a shower, do I invite friends AND family members (I have a lot of aunts, female cousins), who came to the first shower/wedding? Maybe we could do a couples shower, and invite some of his friends & their wives? Or should we just do a bachelor/bachelorette party? We’re in our early 30’s so most of our friends are already married with kids. I’m not sure who would even show up at a bachelor/bachelorette party, honestly. Suggestions?

ginadog

It's probably proper to only invite those to the shower that are invited to the wedding.  So if you don't have enough to make a shower, then probably have to decline the shower idea.  The exception is work showers they say. 

Could you have a BBQ for your guests at your house?  It's nice to give them something after they came to your wedding.

handfast4me

Ask your friends to not throw you a shower (which, as pp stated, is really only for guests of the reception) but for a girls only party.  I had a wedding that had no guests and no attendants, but my dear friends wanted to do something for me.  So, we had an evening of beer, pizza, and ice cream.  And then they each shared with me something that they hoped for my future. It was an amazingly warm, and fun evening.  We all ended up sleeping at the home of the lady who threw it, because we wanted to make sure no one was driving after so much beer.  That made it fun, too.  A sleep over for women in their 40s and 50s.  :-) 

Sue-n-Kevin

If you are having a small wedding, or ceremony only, why not ask your friend to co-host a party afterward? Maybe a house warming, or "post wedding party"? You don't have to call it a reception, but there are any number of things you could call it.

I just got married for the first time, but my hubby was married twice before. His sisters-in-law asked if we wanted a shower. I said NO fairly emphatically because we have 2 houses between us, and too much stuff already. They totally understood.

Good luck.