I Guess This Means Lunch is Out

thealphabride

Saw the fiance's ex at his son's game on Sat night for the first time in 2 years.

She's caused a bit of drama in the past, so I have managed to avoid seeing her for 2 years, thus, no drama, I don't need it.

When I walked up to the bleachers she literally turned around and faced the other way, and never would even acknowledge our presence. My future step sons girlfriend was there and I said hello to her and she to me. 

She said a very curt hello after an hour because she had gotten up and was facing me.

Juinor high much?????

To add insult to injury, they all wanted to go for dinner, the kids and parents and this is a regular thing I guess, (I don't go to the son's games to avoid drama with her) so we all had to go to dinner together and they sat at a different table than my son and Fiance and I.

I think it's rather amusing and fi and I are not sweating over it, apparently she's got issues.

Lisa50

Nothing was thrown??  Then it's all good ... let her keep being herself.  At some point, either she or someone else close to her will get a clue.

Good luck!

right1thistime

Jeepers.  did she not realize that if you have children together the rest of your life will be these awkward moments  at child-centric events (games, recitals, graduations, weddings, baptisms, etc - the list goes on and on)??  Good for you for holding your head high and acting like an adult.  ~Donna

thealphabride

Hey Donna,
We won't be having any  children, (I'm 53, perish the thought)

However, her son will be graduating high school next spring, and I will be involved with that. I really went out to test the waters, she wasn't happy about our engagement, I don't know why, I treat her son wonderfully, If I didn't and he mentioned it to her, we would hear about it. (and rightfully so)  

Sinice we are engaged now, I thought she might be at least minimally friendly.

Good thing her son didn't see her do this, I dont' think he would have been happy about it.

I really don't obcess over it, but I will be going to more of his gamis this year, my fiance coaches his team. My son and I certainly weren't going to be without the rest of our family on the Sat night of a holiday weekend.

Gosh lady, it's been 5 and half years, get over it already! We're all adults here with no problems with each other, let's just all get along.

My_Matt

My future DH has an Ex that is just as immature.

LesPaul

I had a graduation encounter with DH's horrible ex last week.  To minimize the trauma to DH, I just ignore her.  If I had to deal with her more often it wouldn't go well, as I detest her very existence.

right1thistime

Alpha - NOT YOU!!  (You made me ROFLMAO).  I meant when xW and your Fi had children and then got divorced, did she not think it out even a little?   And as their bio children get older, and have life events, did she think your Fi would just not go? 

I mean jeesh - I have a permanent restraining order against my xH, but I know full well he could be present when my kids graduate, get married, have children, etc.  He's a d-bag, so he often doesn't show up for those things (particularly if they involve giving gifts), but I am always prepared for it.  Frankly, he has a new gf, and when he has a woman in his life, he's a nicer person to his kids, so I am always nice to his gfs.  ~Donna

pamila51510

This woman has some issues I am glad you keep on truckin and don't let this woman get over on you. I get along with my ex's and their spouses or girlfriend I agree they are better dad's when they are with someone and I would rather my kids lives be better for it. Heck we can all sit at the same table for their weddings its all good with me I don't care! I feel more people that care about my kids the better. Women that do this are stupid and short sighted! Good Luck and go to those games!  

thealphabride

Thanks girls! Ok Donna, I thought you meant me, now I'm chuckling at myself.
Yea, the graduation is coming up next year and I'll be damned if I will be left out of my step son's graduation festivities!!! And eventually a wedding.

I have no problems with his ex. She is a good mom, although a bit high strung.
Her son comes first in her life and that is great in my book  as my child always comes first.

I dont' get involved in parenting him, his mom and dad do just fine, a great job and they don't need my help.

Apparently she must not be with anyone. We don't ask and we just ignore her, shoot, I've ignored her for 2 freekin years. I'm not stressin over it an neither is my fiance, we don't care. I could sit at the same table and I picked one out that seated all of us but they chose a small table for 4 in front of us, and we sat a table for 8, it was comical! I really hope we can get to the point where we can all get along, for my step son's sake. I think she is probalby surprised I've come out and started going to his games, but I'm not staying away forever, we are going to be family soon, and my son and his son adore each other. They are each an only child so now they have a sibling and are thrilled about that.  

AdelphiTN

I'm thinking I should teach "Being an ex-wife 101" - you can send your FI's ex to my class....

Lesson 1 - you are not together. move on.
Lesson 2 - get your own life, it works better that way.
Lesson 3 - sit with your ex at the kid's events. be adult and civil. it's about the kid. duh.
Lesson 4 - if the new step-parent is a normal responsible adult - welcome them to the team! ask if they trim kid toenails! seriously, how can it hurt for there to be another adult around who loves your kid?

Class dismissed!  lol.

thealphabride

Hey Adelphi
Great post! I think I'd pass the class without studying! 

The thing is that my fiance and her have a good business relationship surrounding thier son. They get along at the events just fine. He coaches the team and she is at every game. No problem.

It's me she had a problem with. She would get pissed off at him if I would be at his house when she would come to pick up her son on a Sunday night etc. He didn't want to deal with her grief and neither did I so I managed to not be around for the last 2 years to save myself and my fiance the grief. Now that we are engaged and SOOOON to be married she needs to get over it and he agrees totally with me.

Although he doesn't ask her about her personal life and we really don't know, we don't think she's had a serious relationship since they got divorced.

Sue-n-Kevin

One of the best pieces of advice my Mom gave me: Always take the high road. You are doing that, and as long as you do, you are the mature one.

Good luck.

pacificgalx

AldelphiTN - Thanks for the 3 lessons. Nothing worse than dealing with baby mama drama! My FI has kiddos as well and we have not had to deal with kid functions. The one close encounter we had, she left after she knew I would be there. Oh well...

Erin McCormack

How do we sign our FI's ex up for your class.  Do you think you could add a lesson on growing up, becoming responsible and GETTING A REAL JOB!

I especially like the one "you are not together, move on and get a life"

2dBride

I guess my ex gets extra credit in your class.  When he, my wife, and I went to our daughter's college graduation, he suggested that we should share a room to save costs.  LOL