is this really so bad?

hamsterdance

This is the second wedding for both FI and I. I really don't want to go pay 25 for a brand new cake knife and server that we will use once. FI still has stuff from his first wedding in storage, and he won't let me use the cake knife set from it. I think he's being silly. It's ridiculous to me to pay for another one when we HAVE one already.

[Deleted User]

I can only speak for myself this will be my 3rd and FI 1st and IDK care how small it is I don't want nothing in my past being in my future I just thank god I was in the military and was able to leave all that old stuff behind and start a brand new future...but its really up to whatever u and the FI decide

2dBride

I'm with you, that I would use the existing one rather than buy a new one.  On the other hand, if the old one would bring up bad memories for him, it's probably not worth saving the money at the expense of making him feel bad at his own wedding.

Do you really need a special cake knife and server at all?  Perhaps you could just use regular ones that could be reused later, and put a ribbon around them or something for the wedding.  Or if having special ones is important to you, could you buy inexpensive ones and resell them after the wedding?  Or if he never wants to see the old set again, how about selling it on eBay and using the money to buy a new set?

kmmssg

It is quite possible your venue will have something you can use and then this isn't even a consideration.  I could not have cared less about the cake knife/server so I rented a set for five bucks.

hamsterdance

We don't have a regular cake knife or server, nor will our venue we have to supply everything and my mom is making the cake. I cannot imagine that it brings up any bad memories for him either since he and his ex are still friends and she and her sisters are guests at the wedding. That, and he obviously couldn't be arsed to get rid of any of that stuff all these years.

right1thistime

I'd reuse, but if he cares, make it his job to go get one. 

Our venue used a regular old knife.  It was fine. ~Donna

coopsbaby

I bought a set at Goodwill for about $2. It might be worth checking out! If I hadn't found that we would have used a plain old knife instead. My old set was engraved with our names, so no way I was using that.

Lisa50

Call it a draw and use one (Really, your venue doesn't have a knife?) your venue has on hand.

hamsterdance

Yeah, it's not a traditional venue. All they supply is the room and some tables and chairs.

anssett

I don't understand the 'nothing from your past' concept. Without your past you wouldn't be the person your fiance fell in love with! Now some very sentimental things (pictures, love letters, etc) shouldn't be out in plain view! But things like knives, blankets, pillows? I don't get it.

pesematology

Last time I got married, we didn't even use the dinky little silver-plated cake server my mom got us. The caterer provided a big bread knife type thing that worked much better. You can get those at the dollar store if you don't have one already.

Even if you don't feel the "nothing from your past" thing, you have to respect if your partner does. If this board need a hokey, almost-rhyming motto I'd suggest "diff'rent ghosts for diff'rent folks".