Hello everyone!

MandiNewMommy

Just wanted to say hello and see if you mind if I join?

I am Mandi from Dayton, OH area.  I am 30 yrs old and planning my 2nd wedding.  He asked me on Christmas and we are planning on getting married June 2013. 

I am hoping you ladies can help, while I love my FI to death and cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him I am having a real hard time getting into the wedding planning this time around.  My frist wedding was awesome and had the colors I had always wanted and the perfact dress.

This will be my FI first wedding and I want him to have the kind of wedding he wants...I would be happy at the court house to be honest.  He is the youngest boy in the family so his family is super excited and ready to plan.  My family doesn't seem to be as excited and will not be able to help out money wise like they did for the first one. 

My first husband passed away of a heart attack two months after we got married...and I am not sure if that is part of why I can't get into this.

Anyways that is a little about me.  Anyone else having a hard time the 2nd time around?

right1thistime

Mandi - Tone doesn't come across in print, so please hear this with caring & compassion - are you sure you are ready to get married again?  What I am hearing is that you have been widowed before you were 30, and that you are less than 6 months post partum.  Either one of those alone is enough to put your party planning on ice, but together seems like a lot to me.  I realize you are 17 months out, so you have plenty of time, but when I hear you say that planning doesn't appeal to you since  your first wedding was so perfect, I worry.  And where you lost your first husband so tragically after your wedding, I wonder if you had some counseling before you moved on? 

Plenty of SW brides want to (a) do something very different or (b) skip the whole thing, but not many describe it as having a hard time. 

It would be perfectly reasonable for you to be hesitant to move forward too quickly.  I would listen to your heart.  Maybe 17 months will get you there, but I wouldn't push too fast and end up ignoring that feeling deep inside of you. 

As context, my Mom was widowed at 28, she didn't remarry until she was 35.  She wasn't ready to date again for about 2 years.  Each person grieves differently, so my mother's time line is not yours.  ~Donna

Ailuja

Welcome! I certainly did not have the misfortune that you have experienced in the past so I am unable to relate in that respect. I can, however, relate in the struggle to plan a second wedding. This is about my third real attempt (I'm doing it this time!!) in planning a wedding. I didn't have the first wedding I really wanted. Tried to save family money, please new family and hubby, etc. So this time, I really want to have certain things a certain way. At the same time... it is tough to think, "Wow, I am planning on getting married.... AGAIN??!?!?!?" That is why it was so helpful to read the list of things that are normal or ok (I have a terrible memory but it is on a sticky on the front page of this board. ).

It has also been very helpful to visit this board after seeing some of the other boards on TK as well. Tough sometimes to see the dewey eyed first timers and all their glossy plans for their weddings. (I suppose read as bitter... but I mean no harm. :P )

Congrats on the new baby as well.