til death do us part? wasn't that said the first time too?

cibber93

This will be my first wedding, his third.  I know, it's not ideal.  The thing is, I feel odd using traditional vows.  Number 1, he has said them before, and obviously they didn't stick.  And number 2, there are so many divorces out there, and most of the couples said the usual for better or for worse, til death do us part, etc. etc.  Maybe I am just a cynic but those words really seem hollow to me.  The problem is, neither I nor the groom-to-be are very creative, and I certainly don't want to stand up and say a lot of really mushy things in front of everyone (I am not a fan of being the center of attention, and I'll be too nervous).  So here's the question:  Are there any short and sweet vows out there that do not rely on the same old tired lines?

kaw4189

I've heard something along the lines of:

I, Susie, take you, Joe, to by my husband, my lover, my friend, and my mate

or something like that, can't remember the exact words. They were short and sweet.

Marrin713

The Knot has a "Vows" board.  Maybe they'd be of more help.

right1thistime

Cibber - The death that occurred was the death of love, the death of a marriage.  Just because neither one of them died doesn't mean that they were not parted by death.  And sometimes honoring someone means leaving them -- it can be more dishonorable to pretend that you are still a couple and still committed to each other than to walk away.

Follow the advice given to create new vows.

But MY advice (un-asked for as it is) is to take yourself to a counselor BEFORE you marry this man, and explore the way you feel about his previous marriages. When you write that you feel like his vows to you will be "hollow"- it waves a red flag at me.  I am NOT saying you don't love one another or shouldn't get married, but I am reading an undertone of discomfort in your words that is best worked out before you walk down the aisle.   Not everyone is comfortable and at peace with someone who has made these promises before and been unable to fulfill them.  You will be a happier woman if you resolve this in advance of the wedding.  ~Donna

MikesAngie

Cibber - Congratulations and welcome to the board! 

Right1 has a very valid point to the death of marriage. I also share her concern about how you feel about his previous marriages - resolve that before you get married or it could spell trouble later.

As for vows there are a lot of them out there that do not pledge the "until death do us part".  One of our favorites is  "For hearing my thoughts, understanding my dreams and being my bestf friend... For filling my life with joy and loving me without end... I do."  We're attempting to incorporate that into our vows, but we have been best friends and loved each other for a very long time.

sonomagal

Since this is my second wedding as well as my fiance's, I also feel a little uncomfortable about the "til death us do part."  To me the vow is really about declaring the kind of life you promise to create together.

Here's one...

I (name), take you, (name) to be my husband/wife, my constant friend and partner, and my love.  I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become. I promise to challenge you, and to accept challenges from you. Our home will be a sanctuary and a respite for us and for those whom we cherish. Above all, I will give you my love freely and unconditionally. I pledge this to you from the bottom of my heart.

AbbeyS2011

This is my 2nd and FI's 3rd wedding.  We both have Christian values and will be getting married in a church, yet I did not want the "traditional" vows.

I went to www.myweddingvows.com and found pages of ceremonies and vows.  I started reading them over, then cut and paste to a Word document the parts I liked from certain ones.  It is worth a look to find something to suit the two of you. 

Congrats on your engagement and upcoming wedding - welcome to the board!

thealphabride

I too did not want to share mushiness in the vows and didn't want to write our own. I wanted to share all my feelings privately with my husband while sipping wine in the moonlight on our honeymoon. We said the traditional vows.

BoxerGirl73

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_til-death-part-wasnt-said-first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:6f7b5de1-eafa-415c-8d29-874b72d2171ePost:96faa850-542b-4f33-ad32-f4360c034dc6">Re: til death do us part? wasn't that said the first time too?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cibber - But MY advice (un-asked for as it is) is to <em><strong>take yourself to a counselor BEFORE you marry this man, and explore the way you feel about his previous marriages. When you write that you feel like his vows to you will be "hollow"- it waves a red flag at me.</strong></em>  Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

This.