what seems right?

rrobles2010

this will be my second marriage, but the first for my guy.  I really don't want something formal or big and expensive, but I feel like maybe I'm not being fair to him b/c he's never experienced that.  Any suggestions?

MikesAngie

There are two ways to approach this - pretend you are already married and reminisce about your wedding day.  What did you love about it? What would you change? Who was there?

Or you can ask him what he envisions, and work from there.  It's always a good idea to ask your man what he envisions because he may surprise you.

My FI and I were talking about attire, his vision was me in a gown and him in a tux - I was thinking something less formal but when I listened to his reasons I was swayed to see it from his point of view and our wedding became formal.

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_seems-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:72975a67-2424-4dda-83f3-09be6a69a451Post:8a98e896-0c1a-4064-88cc-9441ca7dba56">Re: what seems right?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask him what kind of wedding he wants to have. (A lot of guys could care less!)
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Absolutely this.  I had the big church wedding the 1st time, my FI did the JP.  He doesn't care too much about what we wear, etc.  Just wants to be married. 

2dBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_seems-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:72975a67-2424-4dda-83f3-09be6a69a451Post:8a98e896-0c1a-4064-88cc-9441ca7dba56">Re: what seems right?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask him what kind of wedding he wants to have. (A lot of guys could care less!)
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]I agree.  If he wants (and is willing to work to put together) a big fancy wedding, then you may need to compromise.  However, don't spend the time and effort on one if <em>neither</em> of you wants it.

melissamc2

I was all ready to go the Vegas route, but my husband had VERY definite opinions on what he wanted and well, deep down it was what I REALLY wanted, as well - so I'm thrilled that he piped up when we discussed it.

Just talk it over and be very open about what each of you wants and why.  Then, once you have an idea, SET A BUDGET and see what you can do based on it.  Good luck!