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Asking the ex-wife

LmarieCLmarieC
in Second Weddings
This is a secong marriage for both my fiance and I.   I have 3 children and he has one from previous marriage.  Both our daughters are on the wedding party as junior bridesmaids.  Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, is it appropriate to ask my fiance's ex-wife to purchase his daughters shoes for the wedding?

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Re: Asking the ex-wife

  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would not ask the ex for a darn thing.  It's your wedding, so you should purchase all the appropriate attire for the chilldren.  Leave her out of it.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Never ask for something from an ex that - should they fail to follow through- will have negative consequences for yourself.  <-----my mantra.  ~Donna
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other posters.  Keep the XW out of it, because she's not going to want to help or care.
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  • nmauser82nmauser82 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    no don't ask the ex wife. This is something that is his responsiblity. She should not have to provide a darn thing for your wedding. It would be incredibly rude and insensitive.
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  • ltykaltyka member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agreed - absolutely don't ask the ex-wife.  Even if you're on good terms.  You two should just buy the shoes, just as you are, I assume, buying your daughter's shoes.
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  • AmomtomanyluvsAmomtomanyluvs
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    yeah i have to agree with everyone else. if my ex husband approached me asking me to buy shoes for his wedding for our daughters id laugh in his face...its not up to them to pay for anything for the wedding...esp if they arent coming to it
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  • mswood1977mswood1977 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone else, you should not ask the ex for anything concerning your wedding.
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  • pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree will all the wise woman above! I would laugh in your face if you asked me to buy something for your wedding and I was your ex! 
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The two of you are the ones getting married.  The children are his as well as hers.  You two should definitely be the one to buy the shoes, if you think they are needed.
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  • ohwhynotohwhynot member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hahahhahaha.  Good one!



    Oh wait.  You were serious?
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  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Everyone else has pretty much summed it up.  They are his children, it's his wedding, and it's his bill.

    In my opinion, asking her to do that is almost requesting conflict and trouble and seems like it's just rubbing things in.
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  • MandyLovesMarcMandyLovesMarc member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMG...I am divorced, and recently engaged.  First of all, if my ex-husband would ask me to contribute any sort of financial aspect to his wedding, my words would not be very friendly.  Second, I would never in a million years ask him to buy anything for our daughter, for my 2nd wedding.  Shoes are very inexpensive at Target, etc.
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  • NJ JenNJ Jen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah. What they said.

    How gross.

    When you get a unanimous answer....
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  • luckyme502luckyme502 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As an ex-wife with a daughter, don't ask.  Just don't.  I wouldn't pay for her to be any part of my ex-husband's wedding.
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  • arv266arv266
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ABSOLUTELY not!!!!!!    This is your wedding, why would you ask the ex to buy shoes of all things???  My future step daughter is 21 and I wouldnt dream of asking her to buy any part of her wedding party outfit! 
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