the gift question

gfam23

I have seen this topic touched on a bit in other recent threads, so I am sure a version of it has been talked about many times over, but since I'm new I hope you don't mind me asking the question again.

I had a big beautiful wedding the first time around... this time around I'd prefer it just to be us but since we have kids (1 for me, 2 for him) we are including them, inviting immediate family and a handful of closest friends, getting married in the backyard with a small, "casual yet still elegant" dinner/reception afterwards.  I didn't even think about gifts until I saw ideas for card boxes while browsing decor ideas... now having read some posts about it I am not sure what to do - it seems we should register just in case?  Is there a way to register for gift credit cards?  Also... I adore my china and never completed the set... is it in bad taste to register for it again?  lol...  I am sure people will have opinions on that either way, but I intend to complete it and use it (never even used it during first marriage anyway!) and FI is fine with it as well.  Don't really care because everyone has an opinion but if it is really in bad taste I wouldn't outrighty register for it. 

Personally when it really comes down to it I DO NOT expect/want gifts, and the only thing we really could use is money toward a house that we plan to buy within the year of getting married.  Help?

Pixie2012

Here is the little quote we put in our invite, since we were both married before and have all we need: Because at first we lived in sin We've got the sheets and the rubbish bin A gift from you would be swell But we'd prefer a donation to our wishing well!

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_the-gift-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:7bd93071-bd21-4920-97c5-104dafb93ff5Post:0f31c4ac-af0b-4814-afd9-5b80a93d9260">Re: the gift question</a>:
[QUOTE]Here is the little quote we put in our invite, since we were both married before and have all we need: Because at first we lived in sin We've got the sheets and the rubbish bin A gift from you would be swell But we'd prefer a donation to our wishing well!
Posted by Pixie2012[/QUOTE]

<div>PLEASE do not do this!!!!   </div><div>
</div><div>Gifts should never be mentioned, even to say that you don't want any.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

handfast4me

Uh, yeah.  NO!  Do NOT do what Pixie did.  gifts should not be mentioned in an invitation to a wedding, even to say no gifts. 

I had never even heard of this wishing well thing until a couple of years ago, when I saw an invitation on one of those tacky wedding websites.  My stars. 

right1thistime

Register for the china.  No you cannot outright ask for cash, that is beyond rude.  Gift cards are essentially cash, so no go there either. Use word of mouth (family & close friends) to tell people that you are aving for a house.  Poems are tasteless.

boaznruth

It may be tasteless, but we put "No presents except your presence" on our invitations.  We did not want anyone to feel obligated to bring us a gift and there was no way to easily spread that by word of mouth considering how far away many of our guests live.

So far, no one has at least told us they were offended by it, but then, most of our friends and family are not easily offended.  

xobride

If you don't want or expect gifts, then I wouldn't register.  Since it's only close friends and family coming anyway, I'm sure they know the situation.    People ask where you're registered and then you can just let them know that you aren't and they will probably just give you a gift card or a check in a card.  We're not registering for the same reasons.

Pixie2012

Where the heck did my post go?

handfast4me

Mine too, where I said NOT to include anything about gifts on your invitation(even stating you don't want any!)  

boaznruth

Mine disappeared as well.  The knot is being a bit screwy lately.

In mine I said, regardless of whether it's in poor taste or not, we did specify that no gifts were necessary.  Given the distance of some of our guests, there really was no classy way to spread the word otherwise.  Plus, we tend to collect the kind of people who aren't easily offended.  We said, "No presents except your presence."

I do see where specifying what kinds of gifts you want or money could be very tacky, but I guess I don't see an issue with specifying that you just want people to come and you aren't expecting any gifts, but then, our wedding is also very small and casual with only very close friends and a few family members, so that likely makes a difference as well.

Sue-n-Kevin

We didn't register. Other than a few very personal gifts from close friends who know our taste, we received money.