second wedding to same man, do or dont?

Sychronized

My husband is in the military and while we were engaged and planning our dream wedding, I got pregnant.  We were going to postpone the wedding until our son was old enough to walk down the aisle with us, but I got laid off from my job and now had no medical benefits.  We decided to have a small wedding on the beach, just him, me and a JP.  No one in our family saw us get married or got to share our special day.  I was wondering if I am being ridiculous by planning a big wedding with vows and all the bells and whistles?  My husband also wants a big wedding and I dream about it almost everyday.  

Lisa50

Don't

PhoneCardLady

Sounds more like a vow renewal to me and not a second wedding....

timsflower81

How long ago was your wedding on the beach?  Maybe you could throw an anniversary party on the 1 year or something - saying your vows (again) is a vow renewal - not a second wedding... you're already married. 

MikesAngie

What you are planning is a vow renewal not a second wedding.  Second weddings are when you have been divorced or widowed. 

Vow renewals typically are something that are in celebration of a milestone wedding anniversary and not because you didn't have the wedding of your dreams. 

If you want you can throw a nice anniversary party and invite all those you would have invited to your wedding and tell them that you had a romantic private ceremony and are wanting to celebrate the anniversary of that event. 

sablearts

DO IT! It is about YOU and your man and what you will find meaningful. Being married on paper and being married in front of the people you care about are two separate things.

handfast4me

DH and I did exactly what you did, although I wasn't pregnant too old for that, thank you very much but it was MUCH more meaningful than the wedding I had years earlier with all the bells and whistles. IMHO, you are being ridiculous. We didn't want anyone present so we could say the vows we wrote without an audience. We could have never said what we wanted in front of our friends and family. Too personal and intimate.

sperbunki

You've already said you both want it, so why are you listening to those who are telling you not to!?t! With that said,  I sorta agree with the vow renewal angle though - maybe just tell everyone that it's going to be the traditional wedding ceremony (with different vows) that you never had. If family and friends are on board then do it - especially since you think about it every day. It's tough being a young family and also tough being military cherish the event if it's what you both want. Nevermind the don'ts in the world! 

April

right1thistime

Don't

kaos16

The only way you can have a second wedding to the same man is to get divorced in the interim.  What you are planning sounds lovely as a vow renewal.  You can find invitations and whatnot that invite people to your vow renewal.  I would steer clear of the first dance, cake cutting, bouquet toss, wedding party angle as it is not a wedding.  Maybe you could still have a friend or relative give a speech, or do an anniversary dance (if the renewal is on or near your anniversary.

Good luck planning, i'm sure it will be a lovely party!

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_second-wedding-to-same-man-do-or-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:7feb60aa-2f22-43fb-a618-a02480ec4097Post:7c7fe0a8-2be8-46fd-adf7-5cd646389a0a">Re: second wedding to same man, <strong><font color="#ff0000">do or dont?</font></strong></a><strong><font color="#ff0000">:</font></strong>
[QUOTE]You've already said you both want it, so <strong>why are you listening to those who are telling you not to</strong>!?t! With that said,  I sorta agree with the vow renewal angle though - maybe just tell everyone that it's going to be the traditional wedding ceremony (with different vows) that you never had. If family and friends are on board then do it - especially since you think about it every day. It's tough being a young family and also tough being military cherish the event if it's what you both want. <strong>Nevermind the don'ts in the world!</strong>  April
Posted by sperbunki[/QUOTE]

I read the title to the post and saw a choice to answer with either "do" or "dont" (sic).  I thank OP for giving me the option of replying with either answer.  I would ask that you not jump in with your negativity toward those of us who replied -- as directed -- with an answer that doesn't suit you.  Chill. Please. Thank you.

kaceymarie

do it. it can be a vow renewal. pick a really special day.

awayagain

DON'T

Sychronized

<div>Thank you, your right, I shouldn't listen to everyone and I should do what me and my husband both want.  I think we will do a big vow renewal reception :) The people that are telling me not to do it are basically saying too bad, I had my shot.  I feel like they are just negative, closed minded people.  Besides, why shouldn't I be able to celebrate my love with my husband?! We did what we had to for the benefit of our baby and we don't regret it at all but we would like some sort of reception :) We talked about it and we are going to do it on our 5 year anniversary so our son can be a big part of our day too! </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_second-wedding-to-same-man-do-or-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:7feb60aa-2f22-43fb-a618-a02480ec4097Post:7c7fe0a8-2be8-46fd-adf7-5cd646389a0a">Re: second wedding to same man, do or dont?</a>:
[QUOTE]You've already said you both want it, so why are you listening to those who are telling you not to!?t! With that said,  I sorta agree with the vow renewal angle though - maybe just tell everyone that it's going to be the traditional wedding ceremony (with different vows) that you never had. If family and friends are on board then do it - especially since you think about it every day. It's tough being a young family and also tough being military cherish the event if it's what you both want. Nevermind the don'ts in the world!  April
Posted by sperbunki[/QUOTE]

Sychronized

Thank you :) After reading your post, my husband and I feel a lot more comfortable about having a nice vow renewal and reception with our families present :)
<div>n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_second-wedding-to-same-man-do-or-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:7feb60aa-2f22-43fb-a618-a02480ec4097Post:a70ed727-5fcb-480a-a551-6bce4bbb9bd4">Re: second wedding to same man, do or dont?</a>:
[QUOTE]DO IT! It is about YOU and your man and what you will find meaningful. Being married on paper and being married in front of the people you care about are two separate things.
Posted by sablearts[/QUOTE]

</div>