Newly engaged....so excited! 2nd time for me, 1st for him!

swalsh76

Holy Mackeral ladies!  So I've been with the "fi" for 11 months now.  And he propsed about a week and a half ago!  I've got to say that I am totally SHOCKED that he did it this soon, but we have had a crazy relationship so far!  I knew the moment I locked eyes on him that I would marry him.  He didn't feel that way for some time - it actually took him 4 1/2 months to say he loved me!  We had a bumpy ride - his father got very ill in April and died in September...This man is so perfect for me it's crazy!!!!

So like I said, I've been married before and I have two young children (7 and 19 months) from my previous marriage.  I was in the middle of divorce when my little guy was conceived....The kids love fi and he loves them, so I'm not having issues with that.

I'm just wanting to bouce some ideas off you ladies.  First, he's not in love with the idea with a big wedding.  Neither am I.  In fact, we're considering scrapping the whole wedding thing and just having a JP marry us and then take off on a cruise to Mexico   We will then come home and have a large party....Do you ladies think that he may regret this if I don't push some sort of "public" wedding?  And at least having a normal reception????  Both of his parents have passed away, as has his grandparents.  He has 5 siblings that will likely come with their families and a few aunts/uncles that may come. Plus friends. 

I'd *love* to hear thoughts!!!!

Sarah in NH

right1thistime

Hi Sarah in NH!  I'm Donna in MA.  Congrats on your engagement.  My very best advice is to read through some of the pages on this board, especially the sticky posts and the top.  As a newbie, you will see that there are many common questions and themes, and rather than make everyone post them all again, you can get tons of your concerns addressed by reading older posts.  You will also get a feel for the who's who on the board. 

Feel free to ask all sorts of questions.  Just know that for this board in particular, the answer is often going to be some variation of, (a) do what's polite, (b) do what makes your heart(s) sing, and (c) do what you can afford.   And do share all your plans with us, those of us that are old married hags LOVE to live vicariously through your plans!  ~Donna

handfast4me

Stacy in Atlanta here.  But I grew up in the Boston area, and I'm the resident Celt (Scottish) and Pagan on this board.  I'm the one who speaks my mind and gives it to everyone straight. 

So, I did a wedding with just the two of us, no one else present.  I do not regret it at all, but you will have to figure out if that's how you will feel.  My daughter was in her early 20s when I remarried, and she was fine with not being there for the wedding.  We actually had two ceremonies, a handfasting (Pagan tradition) and then a legal wedding a year later, because our handfasting isn't recognized in this state.  We had no one at our handfasting, either, because the high priestess and high priest are in the "broom closet" and we didn't want to out them.  We planned on having an at home reception after the legal wedding, but never got around to planning anything. 

Welcome to the board!

Avion22

Congrats on your engagement!

I think it's important to do what YOU AS A COUPLE want to do.   If neither of you are into the idea of a big fancy wedding, then don't have one just because you think you might regret it otherwise.  I think more often than not, people regret HAVING the big wedding (mostly due to the cost) than NOT HAVING one.  I imagine that very few males would regret having a small wedding.  

But really ANYTHING GOES for second weddings, so you should sit down as a couple and decide what YOU want, then make it happen:-)