NWR - Of course he would do this now.

alr122012

My ex has come forward and says he wants custody of our 2 year old daughter.  He claims that since I don't work I cannot support her.  The only reason I quit my job was because I was an international Flight Attendant, I was never home.  so when FI and I got together he and I discussed it (he's a pilot so knows what its like) and I quit to stay home with my daughter.  I do plan on working again, but as most everyone knows job hunting takes time.  I'm currently home with her 24-7 but since I sent her to my folks house to visit them for a week (we live in MO they live in MI) he claims I just pawn her off and he wants her.  Happy Holidays...back to court I go.   

Sue-n-Kevin

Good luck. I"m so sorry to hear this. I haven't had custody issues, but I'm sure the other ladies have good advice.

squarepeg72

Hugs ... I don't have any advice, just hugs and a virtual shoulder iff you need it

jerzmom114

I have had custody issues with my ex in the past ( we have a 9yr old and 10 yr old ...both boys) . I am not sure how it works in your state ( I live in NJ) , how ever in my state, for custody to be granted solely to one parent over the other is a completely far fetched situation. ( Mom or dad would have to be on death row or have major drug problems, etc. ) USUALLY residential custody is with mom, while dad has visitation rights based on an agreement between both parties, or a judges determination. ( you may also request supervised visits if the situation calls for it. ) . I laugh when my ex used to tell me he was fighting for custody. For full residential custody to go to a previously non custodial parent, the mom ( or dad depending on situation) would have to be UNFIT to take care of the child , and being unemployed in this society doesn't quite cut it. You would have to be on drugs ( allegations do not count, drug tests would), have a criminal history, previous child service cases, or be otherwise not so nice . As long as you can prove that ur baby has had medical care, food provided, suitable shelter for her to live in, and a comfortable lifestyle, he would have no case ( in my state anyway) ...save your grocery receipts, medical bills, receipts from doctors visits that she was seen, clothing bills for just her, etc. to bring with you if he does take you to court. I hope it all works out for you, and remember, YOU know that you are a great mother, and don't let anyone make you question it  

alr122012

Thank you so much for all your support girls!!  It's hard to go through all of it right now but knowing I have somewhere to go for a understanding shoulder (or two) to cry on is wonderful! 

Jerzmom-Thank you!  Your advice made me feel so much better, I don't have any drug or violence issues so I feel like I should be in the clear.  I will save everything if I need to!

SaraB102

IMO, wouldn't you be the more appropriate parent, since at this time you do not have the "distraction" of a job?  Seems to me that a judge would have more of a tendency to award custody to the parent who can devote the most time to the child.

Good luck with this.  Exes suck.

jerzmom114

No problem! Dealing with exes is hard enough..but when your throw kids in the mix, its downright awful and nasty. Thankfully we have come to a mutual agreement, but trust me, it was horrible before that! Your best "weapon" is saving things to back up your story. I even went so far as to save every receipt for a gallon of milk, or a pack of diapers! And like I said, and what my lawyer has told me,courts will do whatever they can to keep the child in the "original" parents home. (they do not like to bounce kids around). If you ever need to chat, feel free to message me...i'm only 28, but I have been through it ALL!!!

alr122012

  thanks Jerzmom!  I'm 27 but after all this I feel like I'm way older these days!

jerzmom114

It definatly can age you!! I am the oldest 28 yr old I know lol...but having kids in general does that to us I had my first son at 18 so I grew up fast!!! try to have a good time during the holidays though...maybe he will get over whatever bug is up his ass and change his mind...but if not..just be strong and dont let him see you sweat sweetie

romamor4

I feel your pain. I just returned from a custody battle between the ex and I. All he does is lie in court and it just extends the situation. She usually rules in my favor in the end but it's causing a lot of undue stress on everyone. Not to mention a waste of money...

JCWhitey

Would getting married to your FI help your cause at all?  I'm not sure about the legalities of your state, but I had a friend encounter a similar situation.  Her XH remarried and decided he wanted their daughter full time (even though she initially got custody because he had severe mental health issues that he stopped treatment for, but upon getting married was suddenly deemed more stable to raise a child).  She was also unemployed but being supported by her fiance, but for some reason that wasn't considered good enough.  It actually went pretty far and they got scared enough that she and her fiance just went to City Hall and married.  I'm not sure of the details from there but in the end I know she got custody (I believe he did get more visitation, though).  And my friend and her fiance did end up still having their wedding as planned.  Very few people knew they'd done the whole City Hall thing and those who knew didn't care (at least, I didn't and no one else seemed to!) so they still had their wedding.