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Second Weddings

XP: First dance song appropriate?

My fiance and I have talked at length about our first dance song. This will be a second marriage for both of us. We are debating between using the first song we ever danced to (Can't Help Falling in Love With You - cover by Ingrid Michaelson), a song that we both love and gets us teary eyed (Hold You in My Arms - Ray Lamontagne), or a surprise song I want to play for him (The Luckiest - Ben Folds). He is totally excited about all three of these options, and said we could do them all, but I don't want to torture my guests like that :)
I am torn on these because the first one was our first dance together ever, the second is a song that I played for him one night and we both got all choked up, and the last is sentimental to me and special for us as we constantly "argue" about which one of us is the luckiest to have the other. However, given the lyrics of the third, I was wondering if it's inappropriate or might seem weird to some people. But, given that it's the second marriage for each of us, I think it's perfect.
Can any of you lovely ladies give me your thoughts? I know in the end it's our decision, but wanted to know what others would think, mainly about the last option. Thanks!
Praying for a miracle!

Re: XP: First dance song appropriate?

  • The first song we danced to since reuniting was "Realize" by Colbie Caillat, I honestly couldn't tell you what song we first danced to when we were 15.  Our first dance was to "Realize", our entire bridal party entered into the ceremony site to "Storybook Love" from "Princess Bride".  We had other meaningful songs on our play list as well.  
  • I don't care for The Luckiest - mainly because I think the song should just be about the two of you and not mention previous mistakes. I liked Hold You better than Can't Help Falling, but it seems to be about 5 minutes long.  That's a long time for a first dance.
  • Thanks for the input. That's exactly why I had reservations about using "the luckiest." 
    It wouldn't bother me, personally, because I think the past makes my fiance and I who we are, and we've learned from our past to be the people we are today. That said, I know my family would view it just as you do, and I worry his might, too. I would hate for anyone to be reminded of our past weddings/spouses for even a moment on that day. 
    I love Hold You; he and I both love that song... if we used that one, I was thinking of maybe having the DJ invite everyone to join us on the dance floor after the first verse and chorus. Would that be weird???

    Praying for a miracle!
  • Have them do the luckiest for your last slow dance

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  • I'd say that whichever song one or both of you feels, "This HAS to be our first song ..." is the one you might want to choose.  Play the other two after that.  Who cares if other people are on the dance floor with you??
  • anssettanssett member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited September 2012
    I think Luckiest is a great choice to be played, but probably not as the first dance song. Partly because the lyrics sound dark if you don't listen to all of them and understand his point. The line about people dying could freak old relatives out!

    I like the play your favorite first - you guys dance alone - then play the others and invite people to join you. I went to a wedding recently who did a 'snowball' dance. They started alone, then when the DJ said 'snowball' they split and each grabbed a new partner, etc, etc. By the end of the song everyone who wanted to be dancing was. It's a common swing dance thing (that couple were both swing dancers) but I like the concept for weddings to break the ice after the first dance and engage close family members first. Just a thought.

    I'm sure it'll be great. 
  • honestly... I LOVE "The luckiest".  My FI and I view it that all the mistakes and bad things that we have been though... made us who we are today, and helped bring us together.  This song portrays that and it is very beautiful!  I have it on our list of maybes as well.... unfortunately I dont know if I can ever get him to think about our first dance because he is scared to death to dance with people watching us. lol. so he is in denial. good thing we have a long engagement so he has time to get over it and help pick a song. lol

    I also listened to the other two- I am a big fan of Ingrid Michaelson.  I hadnt heard that song of her though, so I went and looked it up when I read your post.  I think it is beautiful and also would be an excellent choice for you.

    The third one is also wonderful. Very good artist!  Saved it to my favorites on my Ipod- thank you for introducing me to him!  My personal opinion though is it didnt feel as first dancish to me. BUT that is just me.  I do not think you could go wrong with any of these selections.
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  • Oh I forgot to say... When we talked about using the luckiest... since its a long song anyhow... we said we would just have our DJ fade out at the point below I will show.  I think the only thing strange to have in the first song- is the passing away part.  SO... he would fade out after this lyric, and no one would ever know the difference :)

    I don't get many things right the first time
    In fact, I am told that a lot
    Now I know all the wrong turns
    The stumbles and falls brought me here

    And where was I before the day
    That I first saw your lovely face?
    Now I see it everyday
    And I know that I am
    I am, I am the luckiest

    What if I'd been born fifty years before you
    In a house on the street where you live?
    Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
    Would I know?
    [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/ben-folds-lyrics/the-luckiest-lyrics.html .]

    And in a wide sea of eyes
    I see one pair that I recognize
    And I know that I am
    I am, I am the luckiest

    I love you more than I have
    Ever found a way to say to you 


    Next door, there's an old man who lived to his 90's
    And one day, passed away in his sleep
    And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days
    And passed away

    I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way
    To tell you that I know we belong
    That I know that I am
    I am, I am the luckiest
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