How would you word this??

tat2mommy

My husband and I got married in January 2010 in a courthouse, just us two and our newborn right before he went back overseas.  We originally were planning a big wedding until we found out we were expecting and it wasn't the right time to have the wedding with the expenses of a baby ahead of us.  We  at first we were content with how we did things, but recently we were talking and we both felt like we left our famlies out and when we told them we got married at the courthouse alot of feelings were hurt (our moms and my dad).  So we want to have a small ceremony with our families adn do everything we didn't get to do with our families and friends (the dances, bouquet/garter toss). Nothing fancy, just something easy, brezzy and fun.

How would you word an invitation for something like this and how would you politely ask for guest not to bring gifts since we are already married and have everything we need??  My mom thinks people would still want to bring gifts and if that is the case I would perfer peopele donate to some charity that meant something to my husband and I.  I just want our families company and well wishes.

p.s. I admit I always wanted a wedding...the dress, flowers and all the pretty  pretty princess things (what girl doesn't lol)

melissamc2

You could do it as an anniversary party and call it just that.  Gifts would still be appropriate, a nice celebration would make sense, and you're not trying to re-create anything.  That's the route *I* would take.

However, I know there are plenty on this site who are ok with/have had "vow renewal" ceremonies in order to include family - doing them much the same as full weddings.  I suppose I, personally, just see that as kind of odd since the vows are already so fresh - a renewal is kind of unecessary.

Another option is to have a "delayed reception," going through with the basics of a reception, including a cake and toasts and things of that nature. 

You're already married, and are nearly a year into that - so staging something just for show (and that's really all it boils down to) just isn't something that a lot of people (myself included) believe feels/seems genuine.  It's like going to a play, in some cases. 

Good luck in whatever you decide!

right1thistime

Is your DH a serviceman?  If so, I think the small event you are considering is appropriate.  Deployment is the only reason (in my opinion) that a re-do is acceptable.  It will not be a wedding - you are already married.  Call it a vow renewal and celebration - that's fine.

People will want to buy you gifts.  It is not appropriate ever to mention gifts - even to say bring none or to ask for donations to a charity.  You certainly can direct any cash gifts you get to that charity.  Just accept the love of the people who come to celebrate with you.  ~Donna

Sue-n-Kevin

I agree with Donna's perception: often service people have court house weddings due to deployments, then want some sort of celebration afterward, usually a party of some type. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Chances are most of your family and friends know the facts surrounding your courthouse marriage, so no explanation is needed. I also totally understand wanting to have a wedding that you have dreamed of since you were little: I'm doing that, and in my 50's, LOL. If it's your dream, do it.

My recommendation would be to send invitations in one of the following manners:

1) If you have the party around your anniversary, call it an anniversary celebration, you can wear a simpler version of a white dress, and create a party reception. Invite people to celebrate your first anniversary, call it a party

2) Call it a vow renewal, plan it as a wedding, and invite people to your "vow renewal". Again, this should be much less formal than a marriage that takes place with a reception right after it, but you have the opportunity to plan it more like a wedding reception than an anniversary party. You can say vows, probably not in a church but a chapel might be ok, then have a reception afterward.

It should not have the "look and feel" of a "re-do" of the wedding you always wanted but had to choose something else instead. It's a delayed celebration of the wedding you had to have due to time constraints, and an opportunity to celebrate with the people you wish you had been able to invite/celebrate with the first time.

Good luck.

prisoner2112

My sister and her Navy man were in an almost identical situation. We ended up throwing her an anniversary party that was everything she wanted on her big day, cake, flowers, favors, just a fabulous purple dress instead of white.

marissa_claire

Why don't you just call it anniversary party?  I wouldn't make any references to wedding and just say that you're celebrating your life together and that you'd like to host a party for your friends.