Hi, I'm new here and recently engaged. This will be my second wedding and my fiance's fourth. I am in my forties and he is in his fifties. We met online. I will be moving to his town soon, and we will have the wedding there.
We are considering having our wedding in our church at 10:30 a.m. as a part of the normal Sunday morning worship service. This would be really meaningful for us, as we are both committed church-goers and actually fell in love while singing in the church choir together. The pastor supports the idea.
My fiance's three prior weddings were all courthouse weddings, as his ex's were not religious. He really wants a church wedding this time, but he admits he is clueless about planning one.
I had a typical first wedding, and I found the planning to be really stressful. I don't enjoy big receptions/parties, I do not like being the center of attention, and I hate to dance.
Pros:
1. Having the ceremony during worship emphasizes the religious aspect of our marriage, rather than being a fancy to-do all about the bride (and groom).
2. Our large, fabulous choir will be there to provide music!
3. This way we'll be sure to have guests, since we have very few family and friends who would attend. I have a very small family, and my mother is still upset that I ended my first marriage. He is not close to his family, and they can't/wouldn't travel to the location. He doesn't have many local friends as he has moved around a lot and has a very demanding career. Most of my friends are "couple friends" from my first marriage of 23 years, they haven't met my FI since he lives out of town, and they are still adjusting to the fact that I got divorced. Inviting them would be really awkward.
4. We can have a relaxed and inexpensive luncheon reception in the church hall after worship. Maybe with some background piano or classical music.
Cons:
1. Will people feel awkward about being "ambushed" by a wedding during their normal Sunday morning worship routine? Maybe the pastor should announce the wedding ahead of time, but then will they feel weird about the whole gift issue? I don't want or need gifts; we have too much "stuff" already.
2. There will be a lot of "strangers" at the wedding. It's a fairly large congregation, and since FI and I sit in the choir loft, we haven't gotten to know many of the other people. However, they know who I am since I have done some choir solos.
3. We have to pay to feed all of these "strangers" (but we can afford it).
4. This leaves an awkward "what to do after the luncheon" time. I would like to have an afternoon after-party with my parents and best friend's family (all of whom will be coming from out of town), and our choir friends. But FI lives in a small town and there isn't much to do there, especially on a Sunday, and we will have already eaten at the luncheon. Any ideas?
5. FI is NOT A MORNING PERSON. I have trouble getting him to choir practice on time as it is. I can just see him being late for our wedding!!
I briefly considered eloping, or a destination wedding at the beach, but Ithen we wouldn't get a wedding in our church with our choir.
HELP? Your input is greatly appreciated!