Second Weddings

*@%! Need to Vent... To Stay or to Quit? (Long)

Ladies, I know I have been a huge PITA with regard to the whole gown thing and today I'm truly regretting signing up for the asinine contest that now I'm being punished for (okay probably not really but it feels like it).  I'm sure you all were relieved when I ordered my gown and thought that would be the last of it, hahaha apparenty the "group" has other ideas. 

I received an email from Tosca that she received confirmation that the gown will be shipped directly to me in January. Sure it saves me a long commute to pick it up, but it also takes away any safety net. The "group" has been so forthcoming in all matters (NOT) and has done everything they agreed to (NOT) I shouldn't be worried right?  I'm terrified that the dress will not be as ordered and will cost me a fortune in alterations and in January there will be little I can do about it. I voiced this concern to my FI and he said that it's too late to quit now because the gown has been ordered. My thought was they haven't even cut the fabric yet...

A little bit of a back story, the 18th I was to try on 3 of the "original designer" gowns and 3  "new designer" gowns - the "group" sent 2 that's it, 1 of the "original designer" and 1 best seller of the "new designer"  the rest of the gowns that I tried on were in Tosca's inventory already.  No one mentioned this to me before I made the 2 hour drive - so I feel like I had been lied to since they were to have sent what I requested.  This after I had been assured by the "group" I would have both designers to choose from and that my agreement didn't need to be changed because they hadn't really changed "designers" on me.  Yes they did, and they forced me to select the "new designer" by only having one gown present for the "original designer". 

Also when we ordered the gown Tosca wasn't so sure they would process the order as written and voiced that to me because the "group" doesn't always do what is asked.  But she would inspect the gown when it came in and let me know what to expect, another reason I'm terrified.  So it could come in a size larger because of my measurements (bust is dictating size, dang tatas), with the bow, no additional satin covered buttons and the hem attached and possibly the wrong color (all of which Tosca was concerned about), so you see my concerns are justified.

*sigh* Had I known this was going to be the case with this "group" I would have delete their contest email and application and kept looking... This is going to make me nuts and it shouldn't really... Why can't this be as easy as my FI's tuxedo? 

Every time I get happy mojo to start on the rest of my DIY projects and feel like it's all going to work out this "group" zaps me with their bs.  I'm about ready to say @#%! it, and tell them to delete all my posts and shove the proposed gown as far as they can get it... Of course my dear FI would like me to just remain Miss Resilient Bride and finish this thing with the "group".  (This is one of the many reasons I walk 2 miles a day to keep my stress levels down...it's also a great way to get toned and in shape).

Is it too late to quit?  I don't know... FI says it is because the gown is ordered and the moms love it as did my Matron OH...but is it really worth the stress? (I loved the gown too...but *sigh* this part of the experience makes being either in a tee shirt and jeans or naked very appealing)

Thank you for letting me express my fears and frustration; and I would like to say this will be the last of this but really in January you might be able to hear either my sigh of relief or my scream when the gown arrives. 

Re: *@%! Need to Vent... To Stay or to Quit? (Long)

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ((((HUGS))))

    Oh, Angie!  Ugh.  I honestly don't know which option, "stay" or "quit" is best.  This is just madness and I am SO sorry you have to go through all of it.  I guess I keep coming back to one thing ... Are you certain you're going to be responsible for alterations?  Sheesh!  The "group" sounds like hostage takers (OK, that's my knee-jerk reaction.  Sorry.).

    I am glad to hear you're getting the stress out.  That's important.  Take deep breaths.  A reasonable woman would suggest that you not make any rash decisions.  SO ... let's pretend -- for the moment -- that I'm reasonable.  Don't make any rash decisions, Angie.  LOL!

    Have a good weekend and take it easy!!    
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    Lisa to answer the question about alterations I'm responsible for any and all alterations to the gown to make it fit me.

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_need-vent-stay-quit-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:9a363121-54ef-45d6-ba66-5435b81ba962Post:88f06e6f-444b-4b2a-ada4-e29093a24624">Re: *@%! Need to Vent... To Stay or to Quit? (Long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lisa to answer the question about alterations I'm responsible for any and all alterations to the gown to make it fit me.
    Posted by MikesAngie[/QUOTE]

    Crap!  Well, wait until it arrives, try it on and then think it over.  *sigh*  Try to have a good weekend.  Remember, as we all do when the shite hits the fan ... "I'm marrying the man of my dreams!"

    Hang in there.
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Here's my thoughts for what it's worth:

    You are supposed to have the dress 3 months before the wedding. A lot can go wrong, yes, but maybe it won't. I was not a girl scout, but always believe in "being prepared". If I were you and this was going on, I'd probably look at bridal gown stores in the area and find when their sample sales are........as a back up. I understand a "free gown" is a gift, and everything may be ok. But sample gowns are $150-$350, not too outrageous, and in case you need it, you won't be scrambling around 3 months (or less!) before your wedding. If you get something a bit less formal, you can use it as a reception dress, or your ONLY dress, if you have to. If you don't need it, then you can sell it.

    Just my 2 cents.
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Sue that is an awesome idea... and I'm not a girl scout but was raised by a single dad would liked to be prepared. 

    I wrote my contact and told them of my concerns, they attempted to skirt the issue... I sent the email to my FI... So I had the option to quit and they would cancel the order and take me off their blog (but not compensate me for the posts thus far), or stay and trust that they are sending me what I ordered... My FI decided that he could handle my venting (hope you can too) because we decided to continue on with this bs.  I will however be following Sue's advice because I want to be "stunning" on my day...  and believe you me I can pull off a gunny sack if I have too.

    So that is where we're at now... thanks for letting me grouse or vent....
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_need-vent-stay-quit-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:9a363121-54ef-45d6-ba66-5435b81ba962Post:4aeab785-fa24-4734-82c8-e164e6cdb27e">Re: *@%! Need to Vent... To Stay or to Quit? (Long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sue that is an awesome idea... and I'm not a girl scout but was raised by a single dad would liked to be prepared.   I wrote my contact and told them of my concerns, they attempted to skirt the issue... I sent the email to my FI... So I had the option to quit and they would cancel the order and take me off their blog (but not compensate me for the posts thus far), or stay and trust that they are sending me what I ordered... My FI decided that he could handle my venting (hope you can too) because we decided to continue on with this bs.  I will however be following Sue's advice because I want to be "stunning" on my day...  and believe you me I can pull off a gunny sack if I have too. So that is where we're at now... thanks for letting me grouse or vent....
    Posted by MikesAngie[/QUOTE]

    Oooo ... sounds good (getting a back-up/sample)!  And, please grouse and vent.  That's what this board is for.  Isn't it??  You WILL be stunning.
  • edited December 2011
    Spend the time between now and January finding an amazing seamstress who will work magic no matter what comes in.  You WILL be stunning, and it won't be in a gunny sack.  ~Donna
  • edited December 2011
    Angie,

    Your dress is completely and totally kick ass!!!!!!  It's a definite keeper!!!!!  You're going through the phase of -- what if my dress doesn't fit right?  This stage is inevitably followed by the -- did I pick the right dress stage! 

    You have plenty of things to worry about, but trust me, 3 months is a lot of time.  Its more than enough time to have your dress altered, and if it comes to it, to replace the dress.

    My dress HUNG on my body in the most unflattering of ways, and I was devesated. I thought that it would be too expensive to fix and I basically drove my FI crazy over this. Seamstresses are amazing fairies and can do wonderful things with a needle and thread. 

    Hang in there!!!!!
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies for your support and ideas, I have contacted a boutique in my local area that the owner is also a seamstress and she does outside gowns.  So we'll she what her pricing schedule is like.  She used to work in the wedding industry as a patternmaker and seamstress. 

    So in January 2011 - the gown will be at my house...
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