Help me think through my super-small wedding weekend

mfeo24

Our guest list is 9 people which is exactly the way we want it, but then FI says things like "Wait, we're not having a DJ?" and I start to worry. We talk about it and he says "Sounds like we're having a family vacation with a ceremony in there," and he's right. Here's what we're envisioning, and I'd love to get your feedback on how this would be for you as a guest (parent or sibling mostly), and if there's anything I can/should do to keep the focus on the wedding.

The location is a lodge in the woods, there's a restaurant, small spa and lots of outdoor/state park things to do near by. We'll all stay at the same place and all the events will be there. We plan on having everyone in on Friday night for a "rehearsal" dinner, then Saturday I may go ahead and do breakfast with everyone then they're on their own for area activities or visiting. Saturday evening is the ceremony then dinner reception. Sunday morning another brunch.

With 2 dinners and 2 brunches, I really have no distinction between rehearsal and reception expect I'll be wearing a dress and wedding ring. And with no traditional reception style events there's even less to keep the focus. I want people to go away saying "that was a nice wedding" not just "that was a nice family weekend."  How would you feel?

right1thistime

I would feel very special to be included in your wedding weekend.  Most weddings, even 275 person extravaganzas are to some degree family events.  Auntie Sue gets to visit with Auntie Kay, cousin Billy catches up with second cousin Debbie, etc.  

You aren't forgoing every wedding type event, you'll be getting married in there, right?  And will you have a wedding cake?  Flowers? Toasts?  I think it will be a very intimate, family oriented and special event.  ~Donna

mfeo24

Yes, we'll have a ceremony in front of a lovely fireplace. Guests will sit circled around in firefront-easychairs. Maybe some candles and pre-ceremony wine. The reception will have cake, probably a floral centerpiece, and I'm sure toasts as well. We'll give everyone gifts at some point in the weekend. Thanks for mentioning you'd feel special to be included, I've been too focused on all those who won't be...

handfast4me

I'm with Donna.  I would feel AWESOME to be included in this, and definitely would think about the wedding ceremony first, and the other activities as sort of coincidental.   I was going to suggest a special gift for each guest, but you've already got that covered.  Sound fabulous!

ski2play

Sounds wonderful.  Enjoy....

Sue-n-Kevin

It almost sounds as though you are trying to convince yourself that this is enough........ for you? Fiance?

I'd be happy as a family member invited to this.......but is this what you truly want? My only question, because if it is, then it's lovely. If not talk it over with your fiance

Good luck.

2dBride

We had a ceremony with only about a dozen people.  We rented a house where all our guests could stay, and had a "rehearsal dinner" of pizza, breakfast on the wedding day, supper on the wedding day, and breakfast the day after the wedding there.  Our reception was a luncheon in the private dining room of a restaurant.  It was wonderful!  We had the private dining room for 2.5 hours, but even with no dancing, people were enjoying the conversation so much that it was hard to get them all out before we had to give the room back.  And instead of spending 6 seconds with each of 500 guests, we were able to spend a lot of relaxed, unstructured time with each of our guests.

fireytiger

My wedding was a small venture. Not as small as yours with 9 people, but I only had 30 people (including ourselves and 6 wedding party members) in attendance. I will be the first to say, I LOVED my small wedding. There were people that I wish would have gotten off their butts and come to support us, but the vast majority of the people who actually wanted to be there, were there. I never felt rushed through the day like a lot of brides do, I took my time, had fun, and got to spend time with every single person there. DH's family comprised the vast majority of the guest list, and they all spent the entire weekend together. But none of them forgot the reason they were all there: To watch us get married. I don't think anybody is going to forget that you're getting married if there's nothing "distinctive" that weekend besides your actual ceremony, even if the whole weekend is spent in each other's company.

Lisa50

I'd walk away thinking ... that was a "wonderful wedding, such a nice, intimate family event."  And heck, if your man wants to dance, someone needs to load up an iPod with dance tunes.  Just don't forget to hire a photographer.  Enjoy!

southofnormal

Sounds lovely!

RkyMountainRose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_think-through-super-small-wedding-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:9cb3e73e-2acf-485e-8b42-37f3a0870053Post:dd837ed2-5d59-406c-9b83-3e33f3185b1d">Re: Help me think through my super-small wedding weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd walk away thinking ... that was a "wonderful wedding, such a nice, intimate family event."  And heck, if your man wants to dance, someone needs to load up an iPod with dance tunes.  Just don't forget to hire a photographer.  Enjoy!
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]
Lisa! Were you thinking of me when you posted this? LOL!!

Yes, hire a photographer.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_think-through-super-small-wedding-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:9cb3e73e-2acf-485e-8b42-37f3a0870053Post:9fc103c4-89fb-42a4-b185-b4a41802764e">Re: Help me think through my super-small wedding weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help me think through my super-small wedding weekend : Lisa! Were you thinking of me when you posted this? LOL!! Yes, hire a photographer.
Posted by RkyMountainRose[/QUOTE]

Honestly, no.  But I'm really big on photography.  I have an annual portrait session with my son, who is now 18.  *sigh*  Oops, just got sidetracked.

Hire a photographer.  Period.  Oh yeah, and get good shoes.  It's all about the shoes!

mfeo24

Aw, thank you all for your sweet comments. I'm super excited! 

Sue - Yes, we're sure this is what we wanted, absolutly sure. I'm just trying to envision it, planning this way just seems TOO easy

Lisa - FI's one task is to load up his iPod. We'll have a first dance, and there will be space, so I'll suggest he put some dance songs on too.

2dBride and fireytiger - Thanks for sharing, sounds lovely!

We're also hiring a FABULOUS photographer. (How is that the biggest expense!?)  My dad is a professional, and I do it for fun, so needless to say it's important and we're picky.

MikesAngie

Sounds like you have a lovely wedding weekend planned, and those who will be in attendance will feel lucky to be there. 

Great,  comfortable shoes are important!!  As is the photographer, which is sounds like you have that one covered!

Congratulations!

madonahue

I think your wedding sounds perfect...just like what I was envisioning for myself actually! May I ask where you are getting married? This is my second marriage and we each have 2 girls. We probably won't have more than 12 guests. I want it to feel intimate and special with our girls and close family. I was picturing a lodge, fireplace, candles, white lights, wine, etc. I would love any other ideas as I'm feeling overwhelmed with finding an intimate venue that meets this criteria! Thanks so much!