My bf and I are just starting to think through our plans/options/ideas. He was married at 25, is now 48, divorced four years ago. He's a pretty traditional guy. They got married in the Catholic church. He doesn't go as regularly as he used to, but he is still a practicing Catholic. I was raised Catholic but haven't practiced since I was a kid - I don't go to any church. I find my connection to God in nature.
When we first talked about getting married, my bf said, well, my feeling is that since I've been married before, if you want certain things, I'll be pretty flexible. Then he said that he didn't have to/necessarily want to get married in the Catholic church. So I was thinking we'd just have a ceremony at the reception location - something totally different from his last wedding.
Now he tells me he was thinking that he'd compromise and marry me in a nondenominational church. I was like, huh? I don't go to church - isn't that a bit phony to go to church in front of people when everyone knows you're not a church goer? I mean, if we're going to go to church, I was raised Catholic, so we might as well do Catholic...not that I want to get married in a church at all - because he had a church wedding the first time around.
I guess what's bugging me is that we'd talked about that it was important to me that this wedding NOT be like his other wedding - I'm pretty nontraditional and thought this would be fine. I want to do some unique stuff. Now he's talking about a cake, and I wanted to do something other than cake - cheesecake or something - but no, he wants cake. I'm like, OK, you had cake at your first wedding, so how is this different?
So far the only thing that seems different is that we'd like to have a band if we can afford one - they had a dj. I need more freedom to be creative and unique - worried he's going to squelch all of my creative ideas.