Help with dress and veil for 2nd wedding PLEASE!

JeniBug82

This is my2nd time down the aisle, his first. My first was to a verbally abusinve man and we had a terrible marriage! Not to mention the fact that I did not have my dream wedding by any means!
My fiancee and I are defintely soul mates, we feel as if we have known each other forever. He is sooo into having the whole traditional party...he wants a wedding/reception, which I am not 100% about since this is my second time. We are having an outdoor wedding in a botanical garden, and a dinner and dance reception.Our reception theme is going to be "childhood memories,"  using all of the Kim Anderson line for invitations,etc. Also, I want this day to be laid back and relaxed.I know that the old "etiquette" is kinda out the window as of modern times, but I am still a bit of a traditional girl. My question is...

1) I want a simple gown, something not too plain but I want to look like a bride...do I buy a simple bridal gown or a white bridesmaid dress? Or should I even buy white at all? I know I "can" wear white, but I feel like I shouldn't... I am hung up on not only the fact that I am a second time bride, but also confused as to how to match the dress to the formality (or informality) of the wedding!
2) I know, also, that I "can" wear a veil, but second time brides should not wear a blusher. I am REALLY loving the birdcage veils that are in right now, is this considered a blusher since it is generally worn in front of the face?

Thank you so much for your help! I guess I am just wondering overall, yes they say whatever the bride and groom wants, goes; but I am wondering what people REALLy think... Thanks bunches!

Sue-n-Kevin

Welcome Jeni, and congrats! Read prior posts, and you can do what you and fiance want.

If you are uncomfortable about a "wedding dress in white", look at various sites and find destination dresses. They tend to be less "bridal" ie princessy, and yes, you can wear white, and a veil, and whatever else you want to do.

Good luck.

Marrin713

Ivory or champagne!!  Love both colors.  Actually some shades of ivory look white from a distance.

right1thistime

My advice is to shop, try things on, and see how you look and feel in them. Maybe the dress you fall in love with will be lavender.  Put the birdcage on your head and see what it does for you.  Don't rule things out before you give them a chance. 

And to answer your last question - whose opinion is important to you?  I doubt mine is.  Is there somebody you want to please/ impress/ wow?  I'm hoping that person is yourself and your fi.  If the two of you are happy with what you choose- who REALLY cares about what somebody else's opinion is?

For example, let's say you LOVE that lavender dress.  It makes you feel beautiful and sexy and happy.  When your fi sees you in it, your confidence and happiness shines through- and he loves it too.  At that point, does his Aunt Tillie, sitting in the corner tsk-ing to her sisters matter?  If your cubemate raises her eyebrows clear up past her hairline because you have a birdcage veil on -- the one that makes you feel glamorous and bridal for yourself and your fi- what's the consequence to you? 

And if your mother/sister/cousin has always made you feel inferior, and you are afraid she is going to critique your choice-- my advice is to NOT ASK HER OPINION, and if she starts to offer it, suggest that unless she is going to share your happiness, you aren't interested.  ~Donna

2dBride

You can certainly wear white if you want.  If that makes you uncomfortable, you could go for ivory (which actually tends to look better on more mature brides anyway).  It could be either a simple wedding dress or a bridesmaid's dress if you want it to be simple but in a traditional "wedding" style.  Or you could have a dress, or suit, or whatever, in any other color that makes you feel beautiful.

The same goes for a veil.  NotFroofy and I both had blusher veils (my second wedding, her first), and the world did not come to an end.  But if you don't want that, a birdcage is fine, too.  A birdcage is not really a blusher--a blusher is a veil that is initially worn in front of the face, but can be moved behind your head during the ceremony.

The fact is, someone could have a problem with any wedding style you elect to have.  However, your true friends will be glad to celebrate the beginning of your married life with your soulmate.  The ones who aren't true friends aren't worth worrying about anyway.

mma3

I agree with PP.  Go with what feels right.  I have seen on other boards where 2nd time brides were told they shouldn't wear white, register or have showers.  I completely disagree.  This is your first marriage to this man and it should be all about you as a couple. 
I have a great friend who is an awesome seamstress.  I found a dress style that I was completely in love with and she is making it in the color that I want.  Granted it is way off the norm for bridal dresses but I know that FI will go nuts when he see's me walk down in my black dress.

vrmsjm

In the same position. I have decided on a pale pink/champange since it is a color that I look good in. Focus on you and what your future hubby wants, in the end that is all that matters.

ccallaway03

I am wearing a light ivory gown, its simple, but elegant. I will probably wear a veil as well. My first marriage sounds exactly like yours, so I know the feeling about having my soulmate now! Here's a pic of my wedding dress...

JeniBug82

You guys are all awesome Thank you for all the kind words and support! After reading the posts I  am definitely starting to feel more comfortable with the thought of wearing white, having a veil, etc. I think it's mostly mental on my part, nobody else's, society included. Thank You again for all your posts!
~Jeni

thealphabride

Chiming in late here, hi Jenni, congrats on finding your soul mate and welcome to the board. The ladies have given wonderful advice. Second weddings are just as special as first weddings. Sounds like you've planned a beautiful ceremony in a garden. Whenyou try on gowns, let the vendors know your venue and formality and they can help you choose. I get you wanting to match the formality of the wedding. There are an array of colored gowns that are just as beautiful as white.
Champaigne, light gold, pale pink, and many gowns are 2 colors. Champainge with ivory lace, ETC.....  I don't think a birdcage veil is considered a blusher in any way, but good question I never thought about that. Good luck and keep us posted.  

jsears82

Hi JeniBug82:

I've recently purchased a gorgeous brand new Sottero & Midgley couture gown (size 8). Due to a sudden decision to wear a cocktail style dress for my ceremony, I am now looking to sell the beautiful gown. If you were to go to http://www.sotteroandmidgley.com and search style number SSM5210CS, you will see the model displaying the gown in the exact color that was ordered (which is ivory lace over oyster-colored delustered satin). The retail price of the gown is $1467.00; however, I'm willing to part with the beauty for $900 (which includes shipping costs). Price is negotiable. If you're interested, please feel free to contact me at jds2g@yahoo.com.

Kind regards,

Jennifer

sharges

I too will be getting married for the 2nd time in August this year.  Initially I was hesitant about wearing the long white/Ivory gown but after thinking about it I decided I wanted to have my dream wedding.  The first time around I went to the courthouse to get married even though I really really wanted to have my dream wedding, but I didn't.  This time around, I'm doing it all, the long gown and veil.  I thought I really wanted the birdcage style at first but the person making my dress advised me to wait until I actually tried my dress on to decide on a veil.  She was absolutely right, after trying on the birdcage veil with the dress it did nothing for the dress, then I tried on a blusher, BEAUTIFUL I must say.  I felt like a real bride that day   You do whatever makes you happy for your special day with your Soulmate.  Good luck to you.

Stilettoteez

I have to reply to this.. first time I got married my wedding was well my mother's not exactly my wedding. If it was up to me I would never have spent that money on a wedding. and I didn't even want one.  So she choose the dress, the venue, the invites, she picked out just about everything, every guest.. you name it..

and at that point I just didnt' have it in my to fight her about it..

However, this time.. hell yes.. I'm wearing a wedding dress that I choose and ironicially we are eloping.. no guest.. just me and him.. and yes I will also wear a veil..

this time it's all about ME and HIM.. that's the mentality you need to take on..

Congrats and GOOD luck!