So here's a question about the gown, the train, and the dance.

NJ Jen

My gown has a smallish train. It's gorgeous, but I figured it was completely inappropriate for a smallish, brunch, second wedding. Asked for it to be put up, but not permanently, because once I am annulled and we can marry in the Church, maybe I'll wear it again?

Look, this train is gorgeous. Now I am toying with the idea of rocking the train.

#1. I am still almost 40, and this is still my second wedding, and I don't want to look foolish.

#2. I had planned to walk back down the aisle with my new husband, and immediately begin our wedding dance. But if my train is out, that ain't gonna happen. We have a choreographed rhumba planned! 

Thoughts on either??? Please????

2dBride

I was 56 on my wedding day, and it was my second wedding.  My wife was 41, and it was her first wedding.  Both of us wore dresses with trains.  I don't think there is a maximum age, or number of marriages, for a train.  Here is a picture of us:



Dancing in a gown with a train is definitely not going to work!  What most people do is to have a bustle added to the dress, so they can get the train out of the way for dancing.  Here is a picture of my wife's dress bustled:


However, it takes a little time to get the dress bustled, so it wouldn't work if you are walking down the aisle and immediately starting the first dance.  Thus, your choices really are a) have the dress bustled for the whole ceremony and reception, so you can start the first dance right after you walk down the aisle, or b) allow a bit of time for bustling between the ceremony and reception.  Neither of these options would interfere with your wearing the dress with the train down for the second ceremony.

arv266

Hi,
I shared one of your concerns!  I am 44 and I over worried about my wedding gown, and looking foolish.  Mulled it over and decided, I am a bride... and what does a bride wear?  A WEDDING GOWN!  I tried on all types of dresses - some with long, elaborate trains, and some sweep trains.  For me it wasnt so much the size of the train, as the "poof" of the dress. We are having our ceremony and reception on a yatch, and a bigger ballgown skirt would not fit our overall theme.  I plan on bustling the gown for the reception, which will be immediately after our ceremony, and before our first dance.  I agree with the PP, manuvering in the dress with the train is a challenge, and I also don't recommend a rhumba down the aisle -- too many variables to trip over! 

Sue-n-Kevin

I agree with 2ndbride on the logistics of dancing immediately afterward with the train. But as far as having a train, do what you want. I'm still debating, only because of logistics, NOT because of the fact I'm an older bride.

Good luck.

Sloane99

You won't look foolish AT ALL. People that are attending your wedding are there to support you and love you and if they're discussing so-called "appropriate attire" for you, then in my opinion, they're there for the wrong reasons anyways. I have a train and I will rock it, if you love it then do the same.

2nd Bride had great suggestions for logisitics, just allow a few minutes for bustling and then you can do it all.

right1thistime

In addition to a bustle, you could have a little loop of ribbon added to the rear center seam.  When you dance, put your wrist through the loop.  YOu will be able to dance, and look like Cinderella to boot. ~Donna

Marrin713

I'm still agog at the rumba!  You are awesome!

Knottie1446053082

There should already  be a loop on the dress to use to pick it up to walk and dance if there isn't it is real easy to have one put in to pick it up so the decorations show when you dance.

NJ Jen

Thanks everyone - I clearly still have issues over the gown still - thanks - 

thealphabride

I'm 53 so I feel you on this issue. I too wanted something age appropriate, and appropriate for my venue but I want to feel like a BRIDE!!!! My gown fits the bill.

I've been working out and dieting so I look my very best on the day and I'm planning on rocking the bride look. This is my first time wearing a wedding gown, and a wedding with guests and a reception, so I'm very excited.

'm Having it made, and it's due in at the end of this month, I can't wait.
OH and yes it has a gorgeous train and lots of lace and sparkle! Also a birdcage veil.

I agree with 2ndbride, on your choices either bustle the entire ceremony or immediately after for the dance.

MissStacy

So this has helped me so much, im 47 will be almost 49 when i get married, I too dont want to look silly, but this is my second wedding, my first was a abusive marriage and I want to start fresh, like as if this is my first. Not sure what to do.
But it is about the bride and that would be me, so i'm hoping my guest see it that way

rapunnzzll

NJ Jen, the rhumba sounds awesome!  I agree with the other comments, get what you want.  If you find a dress with a train, talk to the person helping you about the dancing and see if they can give you any ideas.  Probably something to hold somehow during you dance could work, then after have it bustled the way most are for the remainder of the reception.

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who is questioning the whole looking appropriate for my age.  The only one who will say I don't would be the FMIL.  But then again, she isn't going to like anything we do, simply because she has no say.

Miss Stacy - I like you attitude.

kimp67

ditto, I'll be 44 & was concerned & looking for an "age appropriate" gown, but then decided, it's my day & I want a "real" wedding gown!!!
Best of luck to you!

MissStacy

Thank you Theresa.