Second Weddings

Second wedding with children

This will be the second marriage for both my fiance and I. I have two daughters from my first marriage, he has no children, but he has a niece he is close to. His niece and my oldest daughter are both 16 and want to be included in the wedding. I will also want my 9 year old included also...any ideas on what they can do? My first thought was the two older girls be bridesmaids...
~Sherry Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Second wedding with children

  • edited December 2011
    You could make the older two junior BMs. The 9 year old could be a flower girl or even a junior BM as well.

    My FI has no biological children either. I have three but mine are all young. My girls (6 and 3 right now, by the time of our wedding they will be 7 and 3.5) are going to be flower girls and my son (1 now but will be 1.5 by the wedding) will be the ring bearer.
  • edited December 2011
    Points Up at the sticky posts.  ^
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    ASK them what they want. Explain what being a BM means, then ask them if they want to walk down the aisle in front of you. They are old enough to understand what this means, and can express an opinion on what they want.

    They don't need to have matching "partners", ie male attendants.

    Good luck.
  • Here is an excerpt from my Positively Paula blog at RemarriageWorks.com.  I hope it helps.
    Kudos to you for wanting to include your children!  I have heard stories about couples not including their children, and I truly believe your kids should be a part of your wedding event in some way, the very least of which is to be invited. After all, when you get remarried with kids, the reality is you are bringing families together; there is more to consider than just you and your spouse.

    Assuming the children want to be included, here are some ways to include them after you get engaged to remarry:

    Create opportunities for parents who are about to become stepparents to spend time with their stepchildren during the wedding planning phase (e.g., enjoy a make-up session or spa day; shop for wedding attire together; have a pre-wedding picnic; let the "guys" in the newly forming family have their own version of a "bachelor" party on a paintball excursion or golf outing, etc.).Let the kids help sample the wedding food from the wedding venue beforehand. Allow them to create a kid's menu to enjoy at the wedding reception. Have a cake designed just for them that celebrates a new family coming together.Include unique second wedding favors for them. Consider having entertainment for them. When I remarried, we had an antique fire engine on which the kids could take rides, and it presented some great photo opportunities, too.Encourage your kids to participate in your wedding ceremony. Older children can recite a reading or a poem. Or, your entire stepfamily can participate in a sand layering ceremony.Present your children with a wedding gift or keepsake so they can be recognized and have a treasure to help remember the day.  Have a special dance with them. For many kids, they will want to feel connected to you on that day.You don't have to have a traditional second wedding or reception. You and your children can make it as bold and creative as you would like. Brainstorm with your kids beforehand and discuss the planning with them. Taking these steps will go a long way in setting the foundation for a happy and healthy stepfamily. 
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you all! Those are excellent ideas!!
    ~Sherry Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    We have 5 children.. Mine, His and ours... We will be including all of them in the wedding.. actually only them.. My DD 8 will be my maid of honor while his DS 7 will be his best man. My sons 16 & 18 are giving me away and our DD 2 will be  well lets just say she'll  be whatever she wants (lol) . We chose no other attendants just our children :)
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