Second Weddings

Wedding woes for subsequent nuptials. What's your guest list look like? Vote here!

It's really sad and it hurts, but most often no one wants to attend a wedding; other than 1st weddings, as had by young couples. That and family members are often older and less willing to travel, children might be involved in school or might be abroad, with scheduling conflicts and such. Oh and sometimes even "best friends" commitments to a couple are wavering. So, what's the point of having a big wedding at all anyway, if it's just the couple that's going to be there?

That's percisely the perdicament we're in, as many of our friends are no more, because they couldn't or wouldn't accept us BOTH, as a couple. So, we say, so be it - and that's why were considering an intimate and very private wedding for two. Yes, it's been decided, we're eloping to the mountians like a couple of carefree kids in our 30s and 40s - and although we'll have a very nice and romantic wedding, I'm sure, we're going to miss sharing our joy with others; but, we're going to make it all about us and probably save a lot of money in the long run, So, no one else need know the details. They can just see the pictures and video, when we get home from our week long honeymoon in the mountains.
Afterall, our wedding is about us and not them! So,
Tongue out on 'em! Now, who's doing the same? Any other abandoned couples out there?

Please participate in our poll, as shown below. Thanks!


All our best to you other couples out there, as we hope your wedding event is just as lovely as we hope ours to be. Many happy blessings and a here's wishing you a very blissful future together. ~ JnT Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!

Re: Wedding woes for subsequent nuptials. What's your guest list look like? Vote here!

  • edited December 2011
    We are in vegas so it is easy for us to have a small wedding. Our family is excited for us but we don't really care who shows up. This is all about US and we are happy that we are getting married. I can't wait. I never did all the stuff I am doing for this our special day. My mom his dad and my children are going to be there the rest as far as I am concerned are the extras. Great if they are there great if they aren't we are getting married and are happy! Embrace what you want and enjoy it to the hilt it is your day!!! 
  • nyreknyrek member
    edited December 2011
    I never had a wedding 1st time around, and this the first for we are blessed that both of our families are crazy supportive and excited to come for a party!

    We at first planned on an Alaskan cruise, getting married on the ship, and just having the kids, our parents and our siblings come along.  I got over-ruled when everyone, including FI, wanted the big at home we're anticipating about 150 guests.  I do admit that I've gotten very into the planning and excitement...but at times, the stress of it all makes me wish we had still done the cruise option.

    Oh will still be a wonderful day regardless, and we're doing a cruise for the honeymoon, so I'll still get that, too!!! 

    Enjoy your day...enjoy your wedding...and relish in the fact that you don't have all the stress and planning woes of doing an elaborate celebration.  I know many people who have gone and had private ceremonies and are so glad they did...they say it was more romantic and intimate.  I'm a bit jealous!!!  :)
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • edited December 2011
    We had 70 people at a lovely chapel and a sit down meal at a seaside venue, with the DJ, the cake, the dancing etc. 

    There are some friends who have drifted away.  There were an enormous amount of family that were not invited.  There was one couple who RSVP'd YES and then called to say a family event was in conflict so they had to change to NO.  (The "family event" was tickets to the American Idol tour.)  But there were wonderful family, celebratory friends and we had a blast.   Invite the people who will celebrate with you,  invite just the immediate family, run away and get married- just the two of you in secret-  there's no right way.  Just what's right for the two of you at the time.  ~Donna
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We actually had a ceremony for only a dozen guests (in Massachusetts) and then a reception (with live music, dancing, and a DIY "photobooth") for 60 guests back in DC.   However, this didn't represent a choice to have a destination wedding.  Rather, it was a reflection of the fact that at the time, as a same-sex couple, we couldn't get legally married in any of the local jurisdictions.

    The number at our reception this time was about the same as the number at my first wedding, 30+ years ago.  The big difference was that the first time, it was mostly family.  This time, it was mostly friends.
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Civil ceremony with family only - the two moms, the two sons, and our sibs.

    Smallish reception a couple of days later - />50 people
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    What we did was not a choice that you had above.  We didn't "elope" because to me, that word implies that we did it in secret.  We had told everyone that we were going off to get married, to Key West, just the two of us, and we planned it for about a year.  We just wanted it to be a private ceremony and say things to one another that we would not have shared had there been an audience.  Plus, our families live all across the globe; it was a logistical nightmare. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    No plans really yet, but it will either be just a small ceremony and no reception or an elopement.  No one is happy for us and no one wants to celebrate this.  But it's really about the two of us and my daughter anyway.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    My fiance (married twice previously) and I (married once) are facing a much different challenge. 

    We have friends and family -- on both sides -- who are falling over, DELIGHTED that we're getting married and everyone wants to come to the wedding.  What a riot!  We'd been thinking that having a guest list larger than what the budget allows was a problem. No longer, not after reading what some of you have outlined (ppl are not happy for you?? really???), I think it's a challenge we'll readily accept.

    Best of luck!

  • edited December 2011

    I, like nyrek, did not have any formal wedding the first time around.
    Married a real douche bag. Divorced a few years later after a hellish marriage.

    My family and friends are thrilled that I am found my prince and I am having the wedding of my dreams at age 53!!! WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS!!!

    We are having around 100-110 at a park district facility. It has a gorgeous chapel on the grounds with a beautiful estate home. Will marry in front of the chapel, and have the reception at the estate home. 
    Here's a pic:

    This is a real mosaic.

  • candyr99candyr99 member
    edited December 2011
    After my divorce I thought that if I ever got married again I would like to do a DW to Las Vegas, on a cruise or in Hawaii or the Caribean. Now it's happening and neither of us is in a position to go anywhere other than Las Vegas. We want our kids to be there, five all together from the ages of 18 to 29. We have decided to have a very small wedding in the mountains, just us and the kids. Although, I haven't told my family yet, we plan to do that over Easter dinner this Sunday. Maybe we should include my parents and siblings, his parents are deceased but he may want to include some of his sibs, maybe not. I guess that is another discussion we should have. We are planning to have a party/reception at a later date to include our friends.
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