Having to re-read the "It's Normal" post a lot today...

fireytiger

FI and I went and got our marriage license today. We're getting married in 12 days. Once we walked out of the courthouse with our license in hand, FI and I looked at each other with a smile and held each other's hand to the car. Then it hit me that i'm actually getting remarried in 12 days, and I felt sick. I got that tight feeling in my stomach that I get when I start to have a panic attack, so I sat there and took deep breaths to calm myself down.

Just to clarify, I don't feel like i'm having cold feet. I don't feel like i'm making a mistake here, I love my FI and I know he's good for me. I'm just so nervous because this is my second time. I feel like i'm getting ready to jump off a cliff without knowing if I'll have a parachute or not. I did re-read the "It's normal" sticky because I knew it mentioned this, and I did need reassurance that it's okay to feel this way. But I'm still feeling anxious. It's probably not helping that I haven't had a decent day off in two weeks, because we only have three pharmacy techs at work when we really need more like 5 or 6, so we're all being run ragged to keep the pharmacy staffed. Anyway, I don't have a lot left to do now, really just letting things run it's course and stop panicking.

Lisa50

No more panic!  There.  Does that help??  Good luck, kiddo!  I'm rooting for ya!  Hang in there.

right1thistime

I think that where you are is soooo normal.  At our rehearsal dinner, I toasted my husband to be with this: " DH, when we got engaged, we talked about hou we felt like we were jumping off a cliff. Today, we are on the verge of that cliff.  Not in a terrified, reckless way, but much more like the cliff divers in Mexico.  We have looked into the water, we know what the hazards are and we know what we have to do, as a team, to survive. We have practiced, and planned for this jump.  I love you, and here goes.  GERONIMO!" 

My wish for you is that you find yourself in the same place, firey.  ~Donna

fireytiger

I just feel bad because FI is soo excited, because this is his first marriage and he is so sure of himself about it. And he both does and doesn't understand why i'm not the same way, sometimes he gets it but other times I think it hurts his feelings that I'm not so sure-footed, and why i'm so nervous. I kinda get where he's coming from as well, after all, I was in his position once before. I wasn't nervous at my first marriage either, I was confident, sure of myself, excited. I wouldn't have understood it at the time if my then FI was nervous and panicky. I'm both sure and not sure at the same time. I even asked FI yesterday (jokingly) if he's sure he doesn't want to just keep things the way they are right now (just living together engaged, not married) and he said "NO! I told you from the beginning that all i'm interested in is marriage." So much for that idea.

lindaloulubbock

I did the same thing (including the begging to keep things as they are).  It is normal.  It will pass.  

I love what Donna had to say.  She's so right.  You know what lies ahead, you know what you a marriage is and isn't. You're going to jump, and it is going to be phenomenal.

((HUGS))

mfeo24

Just another "you're not alone" post. I've re-read it many times this week, and have a copy saved on my computer. I'm moving in with him this month, and all the stresses of that had me panicking in the shower with "what was wrong with my life before, I don't remember signing up for this." Like you, I'm absolutely sure, but I still have my moments..