elopement

Dana Reed

me and my fiance are going to vegas to get married its both our second marriage and we just want it to be about us is this selfish of us btw I am 38 he is 50

handfast4me

We had a "planned elopment."  My thoughts are that the marriage is about the two of you--whether there are people there to witness the ceremony and have a party afterwards is entirely irrelavent.  They are NOT going to be there when y'all are struggling to communicate, or when you're having an amazing time on a vacation. 

We were also able to tailor our ceremony so that we were able to say things to one another that we would never have said if there were a crowd present.

Some people may think it's selfish, but ultimately, it's up to you, and what you want.  I was fortunate that everyone supported us in our decision to do it  he way we did it, with the exception of a few people on this board--they thought that it was weird, or that others "deserved" to see us get married (whatever that means) and I even had one person basically accuse my FI (now DH) of being ashamed of me because I stated that he didn't want to do a ceremony in front of people. He's an extreme introvert, but certainly not ashamed of me.  So, there you have it. 

right1thistime

The only people who may get put off by your decision could be children.  And I would agree with Handfast that the people who love you the most will be supportive of your plans. 

Young children might feel threatened by an elopement, so if you or he have young kids, plan on doing lots of talking about your plans to be sure they understand.  ~Donna

ichellemay1

I agree with pp.  Good luck!

ETA:  For security reasons it is not a good idea to have your full name as your screen name.  You might want to delete it and start over.

MikesAngie

Congratulations!!!  I have always said the marriage is about the couple.

AbbeyS2011

It is not selfish at all.  The marriage is between the two of you.  I like handfast's post explaining their reasons for a private ceremony. 

Ignore all those who will try to convince you that you need to have the big reception and blah blah blah.  If that is not what you want - then don't do it.

luckyme502

I don't think it's selfish.  H and I thought about eloping a lot before we decided to have the traditional wedding.  I think it was important to H since this was his first wedding.  We were just going to go to Vegas, or take a cruise and get married on an island. 

gracie04

Congratulations!  As mentioned above, the ceremony is about you two.  I always felt that my first wedding was a show for others to enjoy.  I did not have fun and there were people there I didn't even know.  For my second wedding, I would have liked to elope and have a private ceremony but having his family present is very important to FI so I agreed.  We are going to have 50 guests at our wedding in September.  It's a nice compromise between a traditional/large wedding and elopement.