My FI told his children this past Saturday that we were going to be getting married. They are so excited. One of the 1st questions was if they could carry the rings, so while I wasn't planning on ring bearers I will happily let them.
It is sad that the next question was "What if Mom makes it so we can't come?" We told them that it was going to be a weekend that we had visitation so it shouldn't be a problem.
The rest of the questions were all about who was standing beside me and their dad. They are worried because I only have 1 attendant and they think I should have more and I don't have a flower girl.
The ex almost surprised us - she said she could care less. That she didn't need to know what was going in his life. But then she lived up to expectations... She proceeded to text me and tell me they are not to call me mom - which I agree, I'm not their mom. However she did tell their dad that when she gets married that they could call their step-dad dad because he would there for them more. She told me I was not to raise or influence her children in anyway, and that 4 days a month really doesn't constitute being a parent. That what happen with her children is her business not mine. She's happy that I'm nice to them though. I didn't respond except to tell her that I agree that they should not call me mom.
We didn't tell them when we were getting married because we do feel that if she finds out when she will do what she can to interfere with them being there.