I'm not a frequent poster, but wanted a little feedback. I've been married before and divorced. Been with FI for over three years. We are getting married at the end of April. There has been much discussion on this board about treating one's second marriage as just as special a celebration as if it was the first. I have been having feelings, like many posters have expressed here, that I do not "deserve" all of the hoopla associated with a wedding, simply because my friends and family (thought not FI's family, because this is his first) have all been part of a wedding, wedding showers, bach party, etc. before with me.
My parents have graciously offered to contribute some money toward the wedding, but FI and I are paying for the bulk on our own. I am fine with that.
I am simply struggling because my family, mom in particular, seems to be completely blase about anything wedding at this point. She clearly wants it to be toned down and she told me that, though she loves and supports me and FI, she is not interested in attending a shower or the like due to travel distance and cost.
I have always been close to my mother and perhaps take even the smallest things too much to heart, but I want her to be more outwardly supportive of my union. When I have broached the subject, she tells me that I am being overly sensitive.
I am just worried, that as the wedding draws nearer, when we should be doing things like choosing her outfit, my dad's outfit, making hotel reservations, etc. that this will become more hurtful.
Have any of you had to deal with this type of thing? And how do you get around the fact that you feel less than supported by those that mean the most to you?