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Second Weddings

Did I mess up?? - Family issues..

All my FI and I wanted was for a wonderful intimate wedding (expensive elopement) with our parents and FI's daughter..... I have an extremely large family - 31 first cousins, 24 aunts/uncles, grandparents in their 80's (been married since they were 17), and a grandmother - who still works as a nurses aide - (she's 71 but more like 50) - this is my maternal grandmother.  My entire family lives 3.5 hours away - my older granparents are in no condition for travel.   

This is a second wedding for both FI and I.  Now here we are 12 days before the wedding - my mom and step father have been fighting very badly and not speaking... he treats her badly- they are headed for divorce.  My grandma has been very upset that she wasn't invited to the wedding - but she understood - (we rented a B&B for the weekend - only has a certain amount of rooms, etc etc).   Now my mom told my stepfather he is NOT coming with her, and my mom is going to bring my grandma... my grandma wanted to come and as much as I wanted her there - I couldn't feasibly do it because she doesn't have a car and it would have been awkward with her at a hotel and everyone else at a B&B.  So I was excited to be able to include my grandma and she is excited too..... at least that is what my mom told me.    

So now two of my aunts (my mom's sisters) have said mean things to my mom that she should "buy grandma a dress since she was supposed to work and now she has to take off for the wedding that she wasn't even invited to." and that "they can't believe she's going to a wedding she didn't get an invitation for"  - NO ONE got an invitation.  I created a facebook event so our parents would have the information but there is no invitations for a 7 guest wedding... I thought that my mom and I were doing the right thing by telling grandma that now there is room for her and we would LOVE for her accompany my mom and be there with us to celebrate.  

Did we do the wrong thing?  I'd be more than happy to buy my grandma a dress - or my mom would - its not about money.    I'm planning to call my grandma tonight and tell her how excited I am that she is coming but I feel like my aunts are going to ruin it for her.  


Re: Did I mess up?? - Family issues..

  • Lisa50Lisa50
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Honestly, I'm not sure what the issue is.  Talk (not email, not through a 3rd party, etc) to your grandmother and if she wants a new dress for the wedding.  If yes, take her shopping.  If no, then tell her to let you know before the end of the week if she changes her mind.

    Really, don't try to wrap your head around other gossip (your aunts' interference) and drama (your mother's marital problems, even though that will be tough).  Focus on your wedding and your trip, that's more than enough to keep you occupied.

    Have a wonderful time at the wedding!
  • I totally agree with Lisa50. Enjoy your wedding!
  • No you didn't mess up.  Your Aunts are being busy bodies and living in the past. 

    Lisa's advice to you was very good - and she's correct.

    Enjoy your initmate wedding and trip. 
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