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Question about FI family

madibellemadibelle
First Comment
in Second Weddings

a little background... this is my first wedding and my FI's second wedding. 
His mother is not really thrilled about the idea of the wedding, she thinks it is too soon. (mind you we were dating for a year before we got engaged).
So my question is we were talking budget, and my parents are willing to pay for a good portion of the wedding, he would like his mother to pay for some but i don't think she is going to. I hate to ask her cause she has all these issues... i just don't want to complicate things more cause right now they are complicated. So how would you handle this situtation?

Thanks for all your help...

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Re: Question about FI family

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    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Pay for your own wedding.  Plan what you can afford.  If she offers money- accept the gift, in whatever amount, gracefully and gratefully.  If she does not, you have lost nothing.   It is not acceptable to ask parents to pay for your wedding.  ~Donna
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    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And I presume that your parents have offered to pay, and therefore are providing you with a very nice gift. 
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    melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the previous poster.  I don't think it is ever acceptable to "ask" someone to pay for anything regarding your wedding.

    Good luck planning!
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    MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the previous posters, paying for your own wedding also gives you more control over all the decisions because it's your money!  If parents feel obligated to pay for the wedding then they also want a say in the decision process because it's their money.
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    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Asking people to help pay for your wedding is never acceptable.  If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to save up for it yourselves.  And it's doubly unacceptable in the case of a second wedding, since they have already made whatever contribution they chose to make to the first wedding.
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    LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Don't ask.  If any of your parents offer to help, accept graciously.  Otherwise, pay for it yourself.

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    AmomtomanyluvsAmomtomanyluvs
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i agree with everyone else. the only reason my parents paid for my first wedding at all was because we paid for a courthouse wedding, so we would be married before our unexpected daughter suprise came along (i didnt want to get married...) my mom said if i did, shes throw me a huge wedding ceremony in 2 yrs after...to make up for it. this is my second wedding...mym mom is making the cake, thats it. my FI mom offered to make alot of the food which i appreciate sooooo much. i didnt ask...she offered. (she didnt pay for her sons first wedding at all btw)
    id just save up and do it yourself. 
    my FI and i are...and keeping it under $1000 (yes i meant one thousand lol)
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    lharri12lharri12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can NEVER ask anyone else to help pay for your wedding.  If they offer, that's really nice of them.  In this case, because it's his second wedding, don't expect his mother to offer to contribute, so look at your budget and plan your wedding around the money you have.
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what everyone else said. Take what's offered, pay for the rest yourself.
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    jennacinjennacin
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I  were paying for everything ourselves and next thing we new my dad is now paying for some things and his mom has offered to pay for things. Why we are coving the majority of it they are helping with no asking or pleading from us.  It's great and I'm enjoying evey bit of it!!
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    tommyandytommyandy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    He should be the one to ask his mom, not you.  She may not want or have money to contribute, but she might want to help with the DIY or she may have good ideas.
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