What Grandma said...

radleyboo

A few weeks ago, my Mom, sister, friend and I went shopping and I ordered my wedding gown.  I love it, I think it's beautiful and suits me perfectly.  Anyhow, last Sunday, FI and I hosted a birthday party for my sister and nephew.  My grandmother came and I pulled out the iPad to show her a photo.  Her response was, 'You're wearing a wedding dress?  A real wedding gown?'  I had to stop and remind myself that Grandma is 89 years old, and I am the only grandchild she has that's been divorced, let alone married a second time.  Regardless, it stung a little, but I was able to smile and say, 'Yes, I just love this dress and can't wait to wear it.'  Thank goodness for Mom who piped up, 'It's a beautiful dress'.  She finally smiled and said it was pretty.  It still hurt me to think that she's disappointed in me, but hopefully she'll be happy on our wedding day. 

MikesAngie

I'm sorry that your grandma's response hurt, I can understand how that would feel.  But I'm such a smart aleck that I would have said "Yes, grandma it is a wedding dress - I'm getting married and that is what one wears to their wedding!".  But my grandma would have sighed then chuckled and moved on.  Or she would have asked if my DH would be wearing a dress too... 

I'm in no way making light of your situation and am sorry that you were hurt.  I hope she will be happy and enjoy herself at your wedding. 

jennylee813

Maybe she's not disappointed as much as she's surprised. The 'rules' are different now, and I'm guessing that at 89, she's just used to the way things used to be when brides got married for the second time.

I'm sure that she'll see how happy you and your FI are and that no one else sees it as unusual, she'll come around and be delighted for you.

lindseymon

Grandma is from a different generation - I don't know what divorced gals used to wear for second weddings, but I would bet it wasn't a full on fancy wedding dress. They probably did it on the DL at the courthouse in a skirt suit! lol I agree with Jennylee, she was probably just surprised. She may not have even thought about what you might wear. Don't take it personally - I doubt she was trying to be hurtful. I'm sure my Nana is rolling in her grave with regard to what I am wearing at my second wedding - short dress, blue tights, sweet baby jesus!!!  I think you handled it well. 

radleyboo

Thanks, girls.  I know she wants the best for me.  It's difficult because I love her so and never want to disappoint her.  Here's a photo of the dress, in case you'd like to see....


 

TheShelley

I love that!

MikesAngie

Wow RadleyBoo that is gorgeous!!  

jennylee813

Ooohh, it's lovely!

handfast4me

It's pretty!  That was the sort of dress I was looking for when I got married a few years ago!  You'll look great. 

lindseymon

SO gorgeous! See, when grandma sees that on you at the wedding, all those thoughts will go right out the window!!!

mmmendi

That is an amazing gown! My Grandmother only said she hoped I wasn't wearing boots like the groom She has shared some of her generational conflicts. She does love me. She does wish happiness for me. I bet your Grandmother is experiencing similar conflicts. I am sorry you heard the conflict!

bluemichiru

It's a gorgeous dress! I'm sure your grandmother will see that nobody else has issues with you wearing a wedding dress again and she will come around. And if not, don't worry about it! If you're happy with the dress, then that's what's important!