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We did the right thing and told his daughter.......

Hi. My fiance and I, along with his 18 year son and 11 year old daughter (each from a separate marriage) and his ex-mother-in law (dear friend of the family) will be going to Vegas for our wedding in August. We had planned to keep the wedding a surprise to the kids but had to tell the 18 year old so he could get time off work.The little girl has missed most of the important events in our family because of mystery illnesses or circumstances from her mother around each event. However, as people find out and more importantly, her 18 year old half brother knows, we realized we need to do what's right and have some faith. She knew we were planning a family vacation but not that there was a wedding to occur on the vacation. She did know that we were going to get married at some point. My fiance also realized how much I am missing out on sharing some special moments with her-like trying on the bridal dress, etc. We realized too that she would be crushed when she found out everyone knew about the wedding but her. 

So we went to breakfast recently  and told her we had something really important to tell her. Her first question "Are we adopting a kid from Korea?" Not really sure where that came from but then I asked her to be my maid of honor. She got really excited and that was wonderful to see. So we now have to have a little faith and believe that the right thing (her being with us) will happen. Plus we also realized we can't teach her to not keep secrets from us (vital now that she is close to the teenage years) and then do that exact thing. So I will be on pins and needles as we get closer and finally breathe a sigh of relief when we all board the plane in August.

Re: We did the right thing and told his daughter.......

  • Glad to hear this went well. Keep us posted.
  • I'm glad you were able to have that bonding moment with fsd! Enjoy planning with her! She sounds very lucky to have you in her life!
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  • Lisa50Lisa50
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Good for you!
  • Thanks everyone. Both FI and I are nervous about it but we are happy we can talk openly about it. She is getting excited about seeing my dress (it's at the seamstress currently) and getting her dress altered so yippee!!

    lb-I am the one blessed to have her in my life. I always said I would never consider an older man with kids but there was another plan apparently for me. Instead, my fiance is older and an excellent father and one of my favorite qualities of him. So yes, I am blessed because I have gained a wonderful family-something I needed.
  • that's awesome! congrats! my FI is also older with children, his youngest is going to be our flower girl and she's super excited already! i had my first 'official' dress shopping appointment last weekend and she was super bummed that she had to go back to her mother's the day before =(. Next time I hope!!

    Good Luck, I hope all goes well!!
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