Second Weddings

Gift for 2nd/3rd Wedding - Help!

Okay...Two things.
My MIL is getting remarried on June 18th, her STB Hubby 's 3rd marriage. They aren't just getting married in the courthouse, she is getting married outside near their yacht and having a boat themed wedding. She's wearing white. She's being walked down the aisle by her dad. The whole nine yards.

I decorate cakes, so she asked me if I would make the cake for her. So I wasn't thinking of getting her anything because basically i am spending quite a bit of money on her cake. My wedding cake (we got married in September) was 1/3 of the size of the cake I am making and cost $200). Do you think thats okay? I of course will get a card, but wasn't planning on getting anything else for a gift.

Also - She invited my parents to come, but they have no idea what to give. They were thinking not money. MIL doesn't need anything, nor does she need money. I was thinking maybe they could just donate to the foundation they walk in every year...Would that be too cheesy? Any other ideas?

Help! :)

Re: Gift for 2nd/3rd Wedding - Help!

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A card with heart-felt sentiment from you would be nice.  The essence of the gift should not rest upon how many times the recipient has been married, however.  A donation to a favorite charity in the couple's honor is always nice.
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Lisa--very well put.  Remember that gifts aren't required, but your gesture of the cake is wonderful. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    And this post, coming right after the one below this one--is sort of an interesting juxtaposition.   Interesting the way different people look at all of this. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    I think the donation is a great idea. Good luck on the cake!  I made the cake for my sister's wedding (for 250 people), and I did not give her another gift, but did give her a nice card.  
  • edited December 2011
    If your parents are making a donation-- is it to your MIL's favorite charity or theirs?  I think great! if it's hers, not so much if its theirs.

    And honestly, I'd be hurt if I didn't receive a nice gift from my son and his wife.  Maybe the cake is that gift, you know her better than we do. 
  • edited December 2011
    Knowing the time and cost of making cakes, gifting that to them is wonderful.  Get them a nice card and donations made to the wedding couples charity choice is a great gift.  A cake that she is looking for would cost her a fair bit it sounds like, so if she would have to buy it for say $500, then look at it as the value of your gift.  I think you should let them know ahead of time that their wedding cake is your gift. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    130image Invited to dance the night away!
    92image Want to show their best moves!
    38image Have two left feet and won't be dancing!
    0image Are too embarrased to say they don't dance!

  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you mean it that way but the tone of your post suggests to me that you aren't sure if it's proper for her to have the big wedding she is planning. Just the feeling I got while reading it.

    I don't think donations are presents unless the person wants the donations.  If they don't want to give a present that's their choice and a gift isn't required. If the donation is to a place the couple is passionate about that's a bit better. If it's something that your parents are passionate about, that really isn't much of a present for the couple.

    I would say a nice card and warm message is a fine gift. Whether it's a first, second, thrid, or more marriage I think the present should be what you want to give and can afford to give. 

    Your cake is a wonderful gift and I think they should appreciate that very much.

    EDITED I want to add, I don't think a present should be based on how many times the couple has been married. I think that's just wrong.
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