who to invite?

annie912

STDs will be going out end of January for our late summer wedding (August 25, 2012). So, we're trying to get the list pretty well nailed down - or at least the out of town people since they're really the ones that I think need STDs given the need to make travel arrangements. It's going to be a pretty small wedding overall, maybe 30 - 40 people total. My mom thinks there is nothing wrong with inviting aunts and uncles even though they came (from across the country) to my first wedding. It's not at all that I don't want them there, because I really do, but I just feel weird inviting them to another wedding. Anyone have thoughts on this or felt similarily? Did you invite extended out-of-town family?

Sue-n-Kevin

Invite who you want. It should never enter your mind that people are 1) travelling far or 2) were also invited to an earlier wedding. It is their option to decline due to distance or any issues about this not being your first marriage.

When I got married in August it was my first marriage, but my husband's 3rd. We invited an aunt from Missouri, his brother from Colorado.........his 80 y/o aunt came as did his brother who was a groomsman. It was his Mom's THIRD time being the "mother of the groom"........she didn't mind, and had a great time.

People who want to share in the joy of your wedding will be there if they can. You don't have to apologize for having had an earlier marriage.

Good luck.

Avion22

Sue-n-Kevin is right.   You should invite the people who you want to be there, and let them decide if they want to or are able to attend.    For example, my fiance has some elderly relatives who absolutely cannot travel, but we are still sending them an invitation because we want them to know how much they mean to use, and that we want them to be there if circumstances change and they can make it.   Also, I have a good friend stationed in Korea, not expecting her to be able to make it, but I just found out that she's coming (I'm super excited!).

So send the STDs and invitations, and put the ball in their court:-)

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:d44ebda7-e9d5-417f-9fd5-a02651ae94e2Post:722f5ac1-e59b-41aa-8e9e-687e8deff780">Re: who to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Invite anyone you wish, regardless of whether or not they attended a a prior wedding.  DO NOT!!!!! send an invitation to people that you "know won't be able to come," BECAUSE you can't be certain of this. Great-Aunt Myrtle in Botswana just might decide that your wedding is the perfect opportunity to visit the states.  Never, never, ever send invitations to people Just Because, UNLESS your guest list is unlimited. Many a bride has done this to her sorrow, and found herself with more acceptances than her budget and/or her venue permit.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

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</div><div>Um, I think it's okay to send invations to people that you WANT to be there (and have the budget and space for) even if you're 99% sure that they can't make it.    It depends on your family dynamics, but I know that my fiance's elderly aunts and uncles who "don't travel" would be offended if they didn't at least get an invitation, when everyone else is invited.    And of course we would love it if they COULD attend.</div><div>
</div><div>I think what Retread is trying to say is that you should budget (money/space) for eveyrone who gets an invitation, so don't just assume that people will decline.   </div>