my 2nd wedding

cornflwr33

this is my second wedding... my name is Roxanne and I'm 34.  I was previously married to someone in the army for 9 years.  He cheated and was an alcoholic.  I met James shortly after we seperated and we've been together for almost 5 years! It took a while for me to want to be married.  James didn't actually propose.  We've been talking about it and usually I say something like.. i'm not ready... lets wait but I took the step forward and said lets set a date!

We have a small budget becuase we are paying for it.  It's his first marriage ( hopefully the last!) .  We are getting married at Acadia National park with family/friends and then have a larger reception for everyone else. 

Is there protocol for me since it's my 2nd marriage?  Is it "wrong" to do a registry?  After all it is his first wedding and I dont want to take anything about from james!

Roxanne

Sue-n-Kevin

Welcome Roxanne and congrats!

Read some of the posts at the top with the pushpins. That's a good place to start to see what the ladies here think.

When I married my hubby last August it was my first, his 3rd. We had an elegant wedding with 83 people, but that was what we wanted..........you can have whatever YOU both want. There is no protocol just because it's a 2nd wedding. The protocol can be whatever you both decide you want.

You can have a registry if that's what you want. We didn't because we were merging 2 households and didn't need a thing. If you don't register, you may get things you don't want, in our case, we received a few very personal gifts from close friends, and the rest gave money gifts.

right1thistime

Welcome.  Nothing is taboo just because its a second wedding for you.  Small & simple if wonderful, if that's the feel you are going for.  There are lots of budget ideas & DIY ideas all over the boards.  We love to talk about weddings, so tell us more!  ~Donna

MikesAngie

Welcome and congratulations!!

Nothing is taboo, actually registering makes sense that way you get what you, want/need and will use. 

We always tell brides to have the wedding they and their FI can afford.

jghrist

About the registry.  We are getting married Oct 2013, small wedding (30 invites family mostly) and are already living together.  So we have already combined two households, and trying to downsize that along the way.  How do you tell your invitees that you do not want a registry and only really need cash?  Do you just leave it blank and let them do what they want?

RichNicci4211122

cornfwr33... Congrats on the engagement and welcome.  This is your wedding.  It's not about what everyone else expects a 2nd wedding should be.  Do what you and FI want and can afford.  If it's a small intimate wedding with immediate family or a huge 400 person wedding it's up to you.  Have fun planning and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

jghrist...  FI and I merged two households as well, and have spent the last 2 years downsizing as well.  We really didn't need anything that the typical newlyweds need, but went a head and registered anyway and used it as an opportunity to upgrade some of the older items that we had.  We also did a honeymoon registry (please, I already know how some of the posters feel about these) and let people know through our wedding website and word of mouth.  Some guests insist on purchasing something for the couple, and it's better to get something that you may need or want than something that will sit in the closet for years an not be used and sold at the next yard sale.

StevieSquaw

I agree with the previous posters.  We are in the same boat, but it was 3 households we combined since my mom moved in with us as well.  Do a small registry at a place like Bed Bath & Beyond - that's what we did.  There's nothing wrong with your family telling people who inquire though. 

RonJan365

Both 2nd marriages, we want simple. I want to go to the justice of the peace, he wants his family to witness so his choice is the best choice.  Both of us want only a ceremony but I am hearing you gotta feed the people so I am thinking heavy horderves and still hearing I gotta give the people a meal.   I see places offering a wedding and light reception the whole event being 3 hours.  Has anyone seen this type of reception????