Second Weddings

So not sure what to do

We can not figure out what to do both been married before both did the big wedding now do not know what to do..We have no $ really for anything its been a really rough year for us...Just trying to get ideas and what we have to have to apply for our licence and all that...Thank you all for any help.

Re: So not sure what to do

  • Dress up go to the City Hall and have a Potluck with friends and family after.
  • The only things you need to get married are YOU TWO, some kind of officiant recognized by your state, a marriage license, and perhaps witnesses (depending on your state, again).  This can be jazzed up, if you like, but anything besides what's stated above is just extra fluff:-)

    My advice would be to sit down and discuss what you want, and come up with a budget.   Going to the courthouse is a fine option.  Often you can get a magistrate to do a short legal ceremony at the location of your choosing.   You can also find non-denominational ministers who are willing to perform religious or secular ceremonies depending on what you want.    
  • If your goal is simply to be married, all you need are the minimum requirements of your state/ city, etc. 

    If your goal is to host some sort of celebration with family & friends, then you will have to have some sort of money to pay for that.  It is not imperative that you do this, and you shouldn't (1) go into debt to do so (2) shake down your family for contributions to host your party or (3) scheme a way to get cash contributions from your guests. 

    If you are able to come up with some budget, you can plan small & simple.  I disagree with the PP who suggested that a potluck would be appropriate.  If you are indeed so cash strapped that you can't spring for cake & punch for a small celebration, then you should just skip it. 

    Otherwise, a backyard BBQ with hamburgers & hotdogs, salads & chips would be fine.  If the wedding is in the winter months, an indoor party in your home with cold cuts, or chili,  pickles, salads & pretzels would be fine.  You could feed 50 people for about 200-300 dollars with those type of menus.   Again, cake & punch is perfectly acceptable, just don't host the celebration through a mealtime (mid-afternoon is perfect). ~Donna
  • Once again Donna is spot on.   

    Have the wedding you can afford - period.  If that means just the two of you at the courthouse and lunch or dinner afterwards - perfect.  If it's a larger celebration that is perfect as well.  Do what you want to do - period.  

  • Congrats! A fun idea might be to find a spot that is special to the both of you and have someone be your officiant depending on your state laws they can be commisioned to perform the service on a specified date. I wanted to do that at a lake nearby where my FI and I would go all the time while dating. Then I picked June and it is just too hot in NV for that.
    Also, as far as a type of reception I love the idea of a get together such as a brunch or even afternoon tea. You could really have fun with an assortment of teas, biscuits and sandwiches.
    Perhaps a dessert reception with champagne and an assortment of cookies, cakes and pies. Most items could be made by yourself or family/friends could be enlisted to help. 
    I agree with everyone that at the end of the day the important thing is that you're married and both enjoy it!
    Not everyone gets to fall in love under the wing of a 747! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I say go for the potluck if you want.  I was born in Ireland where traditionally thats what wedding receptions were - - potluck.  So I guess coming from that way I don't see anything wrong with it. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Brooke - and in some countries they invite 800 people (some that they barely know) for a 3 day feast.  I am sure that in some circles, the potluck would not be considered in poor taste, and if the OP was part of that type of culture, it would not be viewed negatively, the same as your country of origin would not see it that way. 

    However, the acceptability of a style of hosting specifically relates to where & with whom the host is going to be sharing the event.  So, in fact, what is good manners in one place can easily be very poor manners in another.  Only the OP knows her particular setting for sure.  Therefore, my advice to avoid the potluck is based on fairly widespread accepted protocol for hosting a wedding celebration here.  YMMV.  ~Donna
  • Yeah, I'm not about potlucks for weddings; it's considered rude in the areas I've been in in the US. 

    My husband and I went to Key West for our wedding.  It was just the two of us and the officiant on the beach.  The license was $95, ceremony and a CD of pics was 250.  That's it, except for rings and clothes, and the place we stayed.  But if you don't choose to go away, you won't have those expenses, and you can certainly get inexpensive rings if you'd like (you're not even required to have rings!). 

    The alternative is to wait, save up, and host a large wedding and reception. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • I would love something very simple outside and since it will be fall I want a lot a trees around with all the colors but no idea where to look in Northwest Indiana...I dont know if we should ask our family to go to eat with us I dont want them to feel like they would have to pay or something so so confused
  • Cooty, you may want to try your local board for suggestions of places.  So, let's see, if you budget for 25/plate and then drinks, let's just say that's 50/person.  How many people are in your families that you'd want to include?  50x 10?  500.  Hopefully, depending on your financial situation, it wouldn't take too long to save. 

    One word of caution, though.  The Knot is designed to make sure you get roped into the wedding INDUSTRY.  That means these sites, and some of these boards are going to try to make you feel like you have to have favors, trial makie-up, bourdior (sp?) photos, etc.  Just ignore that stuff.  Everything outside of you and your fiance, a license and an officiant (and even an officiant isn't needed in some states like Colorodo!) are the only things you MUST have. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • I am thinking like 20 people at most so very small and his son but i want some things that go with a big wedding but know we cant afford it and it sucks...if we waited it will be years to have the $ it makes it all so hard
  • I like that idea...
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards