Second Weddings

Vibes please!!!

Hello ladies!!

I really need some of your knottie vibes. To make a long story short. FI and I have had some problems w/his ex this week who is also his babies momma. lol! They are 9 & 12. She is stirring up lots of drama and trying to turn the kids against me. I've never had any problems w/her before and FI & I have been together approx 4yrs. He's had a ton of problems w/her but she's never made it personal against me. Anyway, she is angry at me and blowing something I said to the 9yr old way out of proportion. She hasnt spoken to me about it but she has cussed my FI out. It's caused a lot of stress on us this week. Please send vibes that this will all blow over and the kids will be fine when we get them next wkend. Thanx!
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Re: Vibes please!!!

  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hang in there!  I've got a difficult ex to deal with, too.  Also, be prepared for her to really go overboard the week of your wedding.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Just relax. It will be fine. I know ex's can be difficult at times, but don't let it intrude on your relationship or life.

    Good luck.
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I am all too familiar with the difficult ex-W, hang in there and just remind yourself this is one of the many reasons she's an ex.
  • carolinagal78carolinagal78 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! I just hope the kids can see through this and that she wont be able to turn them against me. She's a drama queen and always needs to be mad at somebody. I've never dealt w/it before. This is the main reason I didnt really want to date a man that had already had kids. I know that sounds selfish but I dont really have any baggage other than that I've been married before. Anyway, never say never, right?! I fell in love w/him and his kids have been great for the most part. I am blessed. I just hate the whole baby momma drama. lol!

    Oh and I'm counting on her causing drama the week we get married. She's already said she will let the kids go to the wedding because they wouldnt miss it. I know things can change in the next 7 & 1/2 months though.
    image 114 Made the cut!
    image 84 Are ready to celebrate! image 20 Are missing out! image 10 Don't understand RSVP?!
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Trust me, the kids are old enough to see through manipulation. She is only hurting them with her drama, a point your fiance should probably be making.
  • edited December 2011
    I too know how the crazy ex's can be. My FH has the worst ex-wife. But my ex-husband is not much better. I am sure the kids will see through her and all will be great.
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    First, you will want to take your FI's name out of signature.  The internet is not a safe place, and there are women on these boards who have had their entire wedding canceled by malicious folks. 

    That goes for those of you who have your real name as your SN, too.  Stop using this account, and make another one, with a new SN. 

    As someone's ex, and as a mom of a then 17 year old (now 25 year old), I know that my ex's girlfriend used to say all kinds of nasty things about me, and we'd never even met!  She was just a nutcase.  My daughter actually used to side with her and my ex, because I refused to enter into a battle of wits with the unarmed. :-)  So, I just didn't defend myself, and let them all talk smack about me.  My daughter figured it out pretty quickly.  Ex finally got a clue, and the girlfriend and he did eventually break up.  But it was a painful period in my life. 

    So, while I want to be supportive, I hope that what you said didn't have ANYTHING to do with his ex (their mom) and now you know you will have to watch what you say around the children--who may also want to stir up some drama, as you're taking their mom's place.  Think about it.  If you get married to their dad, that means he can't get back together with their mom.
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_vibes-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:e22109b0-2cc5-4c65-af1b-afa03363882cPost:a017c61c-e072-4368-ac3a-80cef500e219">Re: Vibes please!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am all too familiar with the difficult ex-W, hang in there and just remind yourself this is one of the many reasons she's an ex.
    Posted by MikesAngie[/QUOTE]

    Excellent advice for the OP (and for me).
    Anniversary
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_vibes-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:e22109b0-2cc5-4c65-af1b-afa03363882cPost:1c53ce99-9abd-4b6f-96ed-8bf213dc440f">Re: Vibes please!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]  Think about it.  If you get married to their dad, that means he can't get back together with their mom.
    Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    This ^
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