Second Weddings

Here's a surprise - my ex is stirring up drama

So I've been engaged since last summer. Have had the wedding date set since february. Have filled in my ex every step of the way. so now I am 4 weeks out from leaving town to go to hilton head and get hitched....

and i get this email from my ex... "I'm trying to schedule a trip, are you going out of town on labor day"

Um yes. to get married. remember? the boys are coming with me on these days and staying with you on these days. any of this ringing a bell?  Remember that i told the boys if their grades were good they could miss 4 days of school, but otherwise would miss 2? Remember? Anyone? Buehler?

So now he is mad.... BOTH because the boys will miss school AND because if they *don't* then he will miss his trip. HUH?

Re: Here's a surprise - my ex is stirring up drama

  • edited December 2011
    AND THAT'S probably why he's an ex.

    Honestly, I knew there was no way on earth I could rely on my xH to take the kids during our honeymoon.  We made other arrangements for them, because I knew that if he were the coverage, I'd be getting an emergency call the night before the wedding telling me "something came up".  UGH!!

    Let him be mad. ~Donna
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PP - let him be mad.  It's not your issue that he forgot - it's his.  He knew the drill that he failed to note it in his calendar is just too bad.
  • edited December 2011
    I feel for you Adelphi! I learned to never ever rely on my ex. He taught me that he can't be counted on.

    He came to pick up my son on a Monday night a few weeks ago, said he wil keep him for the week and then showed up later that night and said he couldn't and dropped off my son. I could have very well been gone by the time he got back to my house. He does this kind of thing oftern. I have to make other plans for my son if I am sure I absolutely need to be gone and need someone I can rely on. 

    Didn't even ask the ex to watch him while I'm gone, my sister is coming to my house to stay with him for my honeymoon.
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    AND THAT'S probably why he's an ex.

    PERFECT answer! I feel for you, I really do. My ex is a bit more responsible, but he still has to be reminded multiple times when I have something going on and need him to "stand up and be dad".

    It's your ex's problem, not yours. Tough. A lot of people miss vacations, some rarely take them because they are worried about being away from work.
  • AdelphiTNAdelphiTN member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know, I know. I really should have expected this. As my sister would say, "and this is different from when you were married... how?"  We've been divorced for a DECADE, and I still send him a monthly calendar with all the kids' activities. Yes it's pitiful and yes I'm enabling his incompentency... but it gets him to the ball field on time to play the good dad.

    He will stomp around for a few days and stir up reasons to be mad and why it isn't his fault that he forgot... but he'll get over it and man-up at some point. and yes this is ONE of the reasons he is an ex... that and his um close friendship with his secretary. ha! 

    So yeah, i'm not changing a thing.
  • edited December 2011
    Ex's just suck in general, unless you don't have to deal with them vey often, like in my case.
  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_heres-surprise-ex-stirring-up-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:e238d5e4-33bc-42ac-8abb-9cfc12253249Post:00818f36-7206-492e-b58f-5dc4b222b3de">Re: Here's a surprise - my ex is stirring up drama</a>:
    [QUOTE] He will stomp around for a few days and stir up reasons to be mad and why it isn't his fault that he forgot... but he'll get over it and man-up at some point. and yes this is ONE of the reasons he is an ex... that and his um close friendship with his secretary. ha!  So yeah, i'm not changing a thing.
    Posted by AdelphiTN[/QUOTE]

    Good for you Adelphi!  Sounds like he is pissed you have moved on with your life in such a good way, and he is trying to make you mad - but it's not working!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Make other arrangements immediately.
  • edited December 2011
    btw tell him way to be a cliche....lmao!  trust me I understand where your coming from on that...luckily we didn't have any kids so I just got to say see ya and go to he!!
  • edited December 2011
    your XH sounds a lot like my XBIL. 
    He's forever promising to take my nephew places and he ALWAYS cancels and the kid cries for days.  Just this last Sunday he told him they were going to go to Hershey Park in PA for a week.  Guess what?  It breaks my heart.

    Tell your ex to EABOD  and adhere to what you two had already agreed upon, or like IvanandKim said and make other arrangements that don't include this dickbag.
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