Not sure how to handle this..

sarahmack36

History: My fiance and I have both been married before. He had a JOP when he was in his early twenties, no wedding and no reception. My wedding was large in a church with a full reception. This time around we decided to go with a ceremony (non demominational) and a large reception. Since we are combining households (we have a lot of traditional registry items) I went for the Honeymoon registry (I am not on here asking your opinion of the registry-you can think its tacky-i dont-lets move on) and I am going to do a small walmart (you can think this is tacky too-but after all the horror stories I saw on this board with Macy's/Kohls etc-Ill stay with what I have) registry for items that need to be replaced like bedding etc. MY QUESTION IS: His mom (doesn't have any daughters and is close with me) and my bridal party want to do a bridal shower (closer to the date but it has been brought up because I do alot of traveling in the summer)? Is having a shower okay with the second go around or what do you recommend??

Yellow+Belle

So your question is "Is it ok to have a bridal shower for a second marriage?"

Short answer, & from a purely etiquette-related stance, no.

sarahmack36

Thank you.... I will make sure that this is not done.

Avion22

I think it's fine to have a party, with games and stuff, but I would ask the hosts to stay away from the word "shower" and tell people (if asked) that you are not expecting gifts. 

right1thistime

I whole heartedly disagree.  I think that if they want to throw you a shower and you'd appreciate it, it is absolutley fine, and you should be quite happy to have it.  The point of a shower is to be showered with gifts, so it would not make sense to request no gifts please. 

If you are not comfortable with a shower, then you should verbalize that to his family and tell them you would prefer a "welcome to the family" or "getting to know you" luncheon instead, without the setting of a shower.  ~Donna

lindaloulubbock

I'm with right1.

You can have a shower.  Don't invite people that gave you gifts the first time (except immediate family who would be hurt not to be invited).  Don't invite people not invited to the wedding. 

My MIL and SILs through a shower for me, and I was really, really uncomfortable about it.  I think a "welcome to the family" party would be a lot of fun.  

blush64

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_not-sure-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:e307c1d4-2ed1-47ae-a8f7-730e420c8206Post:9ded9efc-baad-4b07-9ed9-f68e6b2af39c">Re: Not sure how to handle this..</a>:
[QUOTE]So your question is "Is it ok to have a bridal shower for a second marriage?" Short answer, & from a purely etiquette-related stance, no.
Posted by Yellow+Belle[/QUOTE]

I disagree. I don't think etiquette says it's wrong to have a bridal shower anymore.

It's fine to have a shower for a second marriage. Follow the same rules as before. (only those who are invited to the wedding can be invited...etc)

Avion22

It's fine to have a shower for a second wedding.

It's really weird to have a shower if you don't actually want gifts and don't register for anything except a honeymoon.  

So, if you want/need stuff, then register for what you want and let the friends throw you a shower. 

ichellemay1

None of my friends are throwing a shower, but I kind of expect people at my workplace to have a small one.  They threw a small baby shower for a mom-to-be that was having her 2nd baby.  As pp mentioned STRICTLY speaking - no.  However, in this day and age, I think there is some wiggle room. 

cmk46202

The people I know now did not know me when I married the first time, with the exception of family members and one bridesmaid. When I married before, I only had one shower, at work, due to our families. I've been to so many second-time showers that I don't see it as an issue at all. But, if you would be inviting the same people who bought you gifts before, that could be tricky. I wasn't going to register at all but people started asking me; I'd rather get a gift I want rather than 20 picture frames, etc.