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Second Weddings

second marriage

Okay so me and my husband are renewing are vowels? So what? I don't understand why all of you are having so a big ordeal if we do this. I just wanted advice and I don't see how this is offending any of you!!!! I understand all of your answers, but don't be hatin on me because we decided to do this. and If you don't like it just keep your mouth shut and keep going.

Re: second marriage

  • stephandfattystephandfatty member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am a future bride of a re-wedding, and a wedding photographer.  I have seen a lot of these second ceremony/receptions and people always attend.  I think you have to know your family, but in most cases they know you and will be supportive of your decision.  I suggest maybe taking a poll of your family/friends and see how many would really attend.  Explain the situation.  It wouldn't hurt. JMO
  • edited December 2011
    A lot of people do what you are wanting to do for meny different reasons, Just figure out the reasons and go from there, if in your heart they are a good reasons then go for it and have the wedding you want, but, you are already merried so it is not actually a wedding it would be a renewl of vows.  You can have the same as you would for a wedding just changed the wording a bit.  Or better yet do your own vows.  Some people may frown on what you want to do but most wont.  I went to a renewl and there were more people there then at the actual wedding.  So just talk it over and figure out the reason.. Good luck
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    A second marriage occurs when either you are a) divorced or b) widowed - what you are doing is a vow renewal... and those usually occur at a significant milestone.  Although it seems to be becoming the norm for those who didn't want to wait until they could afford the more formal route to have a "re-do" or a "do-over".
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Uh, just a point of clarification.  If you got married, that WAS YOUR CEREMONY. You have just insulted all the women like myself, who decided that we wanted to get married in a very romantic way, without all the hoopla, and without guests or people staring at us and listenting to us say very private things to one another.

    I'm not for the do-over thing unless it's under very, very special circumstances.   It seems like a gift grab to me.  I've actually been invited to these, and I politely decline. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    It's only been a year and a half.  Give it 8 1/2 more years and have a vow renewal.
  • edited December 2011
    What you are talking about is pretty common in a lot of countries. People get quietly married, then save up for the party. The thing is- you're married. And if you're doing a vow renewal, then expect a smaller amount of rsvps, and don't expect gifts. 
  • LizdcLizdc member
    edited December 2011
    To op. As I am 3.5 weeks from my vow renewal I can comment. We had a JOP marriage in dec. For my friends and family they requested we move forward with our event. I only invited our closet friends and family. There will be 25 people who are coming from 6 states at last count. They are all excited to come celebrate with us on a beach in FL. Only 3 people declined and all of them there were legit reasons. I have also been to many non legally binding ceremonies and they have been great ( everything from vr, to same sex, to people who don't want the state in their relationships). Personally for us bringing together our closet friends and our family is what truly matters to us and them. Our sons are the only people in the ceremony. My best male friend is performing. I would not change the day of our JOP wedding and stand by why we did it while planning what is now our vow renewal but also think our vow renewal is very important to us and our families. Maybe others have run into a neg reaction from family / friends but that isn't my experience. Honestly, I had no idea it was an issue till I came here to knot. I was shocked by some things that were said on this board. In the end what matters is my family and friends who are excited and supportive. Good luck
  • sobilover2000sobilover2000 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks a lot that helps.
  • calo1983calo1983 member
    edited December 2011
    i dont see what the problem with a renewal of vows is. Many people just cant afford a wedding at the time or want to do it again for whatever reason. i was married twice to my first husband. my reasoning was to please him and make him stay...this is not a good reason. nor did it work. as long as your reasoning is ligit and theres love between you go ahead. as said you probably wont get as many people the second time nor as many gifts but then again who knows? 

    I suppose it all boils down to whose oppinion matters most...everyone elses or your dh and you? Whose advise do you listen to? who matters most and what are they saying? listen take it all in then make your decision. but in the end you and your dh are making the decision not the rest of the world. although i can understand why other opinions would matter some.......
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