I got married when I was 19 years old. My parents didn't entirely approve, but they were supportive and helped pay for and plan the wedding along with my ex-husband's family. By 21 I was divorced (my decision, it was a huge mistake).
Now I'm 28 and engaged to get married this September. This will be my fiance's first marriage. My family loves my fiance, have been wanting us to get married for a long time, and already consider him family. Yet when I annouced we were engaged they were surprised that we wanted to have a wedding. In their view, we should just go to the courthouse and get it done. Keep in mind that my family is from small town, rural south Alabama where nearly everyone has a small, simple church wedding. My fiance's family, on the other hand, is from a rich community in south Florida where the expectations are totally different.
In my opinion, the wedding we have planned is very intimate and modest. We're having the ceremony in a park (for free!) and we're paying for the reception venue, catering, and photography ourselves. We've cut costs as much as possible but we still need help. I finally asked my parents tonight if they could contribute anything, and suggested smaller things like flowers or help with getting decorations. My stepmom said she thought we were paying for it all ourselves and handed the phone to my Dad, who said "you know we're not big on big weddings" but he'd talk it over and get back to me.
Am I in the wrong here? I'm so upset that they feel this way and like I'm being made to feel guilty because my first marriage didn't work out. This is the man I love and want to spend my life with, I think we deserve to have the experience of actually getting married in front of all the people we care about and celebrating with them. It means so much to me, and this whole thing just makes me feel sick to my stomach. This whole time they've acted like they want nothing to do with the wedding other than show up. I'm not asking for a lot here, I just feel like they should be excited for me and want to be involved. It's not like they're struggling, they make good money so I know that isn't the issue. Any advice?