Am I being silly? Engagement/Wedding ring issue

romamor4

We originally purchased a beautiful engagement ring setting from a friend who was divorced. The plan was for FI to purchase a diamond to put in it before we got engaged. Here is the ring:

Well, his father decided that I should have his mother's (that's actually FI's grandmothers) engagement ring. Are you still following me?? ;o) So that is what he gave me when he proposed. Now the ring is lovely. It's completely my style, but it is really wide and so it would be nearly impossible to find a band to go around it. Here is my ring, actually. 

So our thought was to just get me a wedding band to wear in place of the ring. I would be deathly afraid of losing his grandmothers ring anyways! His idea of a wedding band, though, is a plane band. I want to be able to wear something with a little bling on it. I'm a little torn because I told him I'm not concerned with cost. I don't need an expensive ring. I wouldn't mind one from ebay, even. In fact, I've already bid on several there to no avail. 

This is really starting to stress me out now though.

The point: FI is unemployed so we can't afford much. We still have my previous engagement ring though from a previous marriage and his thought was to take out the center diamond and use it on the original setting we had bought and problem solved! I kind of don't mind. But then again, I'm not really sure how I feel about it, ya know? I mean, it's only a diamond, right? What do you ladies think? I really have no idea what to do. Would this be too weird?? Am I being silly? Please help!  

right1thistime

It boils down to how YOU feel about it.  If you are fine with it, I think its fine to do.  Another alternative is to trade your diamond in for another stone, if you have some sort of karma or bad juju concerns. 

I think people make a big deal about not re-using jewelry from a failed marriage.  What do people think women do with their bling after a divorce if they don't re-set it?  They trade it in.  And it ends up in someone's engagement ring.  I don't think diamonds come with a certificate of virginity.  

Sue-n-Kevin

Here's what I would do (but I agree with the above as well): I'd sell the emtpy setting you have, or trade it in with a jeweler for a wedding band with a few diamonds, something you can wear all the time instead of the ring you are afraid of wearing. You will probably never find a ring to fit under that vintage and lovely ring you have. In that case, you can wear the wedding band on your left hand, and the engagement ring from his grandmother on your right like a cocktail ring when you get dressed up.

Do what you want with your engagement ring from your first marriage. Do you have kids? Pass it down. If not, hold onto it and save it for an inheritance for someone else or have it reset into something you would love to wear.

Or, you can reset it into the setting you have, save your old setting or sell it if it has no diamonds (gold prices are sky high). But, you still have no wedding band, which is why I'd sell or trade in the setting you already bought (or your old one).

Good luck. Hope that makes sense.

awayagain

You could use the new engagement ring setting and put a cz or a colored stone in it.  Maybe a stone that is the stone for the month of your marriage?  I don't see anything wrong with reusing your old diamond, though.

romamor4

Thanks for the advice, ladies! We're going to go see a jeweler and price out our different options. I feel better about the whole thing and I'm so excited that I'll have something to wear constantly and have a beautiful family heirloom to wear on special occasions! It's really beautiful, the picture does not do it justice!

timsflower81

Jewelry is meant to be worn, adored and cherished, what purpose does something serve if it sits in a jewelry box for its lifetime.  If you're afraid of losing it or something happening to it, get insurance on it.  Secondly, there are many jewelers that can do custom work and they could make you a band that would sit or even attach a band to the e-ring.. or - wear the diamond without a band? In regards to the setting you purchaed, maybe you could put a different stone in it - and wear it on your other hand - a pretty amethyst or sapphire perhaps?   

JCWhitey

When I got married the first time I wore my Grandmother's wedding ring as my engagement ring and then we got plain matching bands as the wedding rings.  I had a dirty job at an animal center working with large animals so I didn't wear my Grandma's ring to work so I wore the band instead.  Otherwise I always wores Grandma's ring.  Yes, it's irreplacable should it have been lost since even a copy wouldn't be the band my dear Grandmother wore... but like PP said- jewelry is meant to be worn and cherished, not locked away in boxes.

And, yes, after FI and I are married I will wear my Grandmother's wedding ring again.  I'm sure a lot of people will turn their noses up at that and look down upon me for it, but I don't care!  My XH never actually gave me that ring, my Grandma did when she passed away and I won't let a drunken jacka$$ ruin my Grandma's ring for me!

My moral is- do what YOU want to do.  Don't care about what other people think.  If you can't afford anything else and you want bling, use that ring and that diamond!  No one ever has to know where it came from!

If you want something affordable check out JC Penney!  That's where we got my e-ring for under $150.  FI really wanted to buy me a ring for an e-ring even though I have my Grandma's, it's just something that was important to him.  Anyway, I had a ring in mind and after looking high and low I found it while walking through JC Penney one day... in the clearance section!

Grits8812

I'm going to have to agree with others.  If it would be cheapest to have the diamond from the old ring put in the new setting, go fo it.  The diamond isn't cursed.
Or you could wear your gramma's ring on your right hand all the time, like you would your wedding ring, I have heard of people doing that.

It is ultimatly up to you.  I have also heard of girls with big e-rings wearing their wedding band on their right hand and their e-ring on their left.