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my brother pulled the 'but it's just your second wedding' cr*p

anssettanssett member
100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
in Second Weddings
So far the only person who seemed to notice that I had been married before and give me grief was myself. Everyone had been great. Then last week I was talking to my brother and his wife about the wedding and they kept saying 'you can do what you want because it's your second wedding' and 'no one will care, it's your second wedding', etc. I know they love me and I even think they were trying to be helpful, but it hurt. I'm trying to shake it off because all that matters is that I learn from my mistakes and become the most awesome me I can. This awesome me is marrying the man of my dreams.
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Re: my brother pulled the 'but it's just your second wedding' cr*p

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Well, aren't brothers supposed to torture us?  ;)

    Honestly, it doesn't seem that your bro and sis-in-law were being intentionally hurtful.  Shaking it off is a good idea.

    Hang in there!
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Turn that on its head and make that your mantra.  If anyone judges you, or questions you, or raises an eyebrow, or tries to guilt you into something that doesn't suit your fancy-- answer them with, "Eh...its my second wedding.  I have thrown the wedding industry rule book out, and am doing what makes US happy."

    Honestly, I think they were trying to open that same door for you.  i.e."you don't have the constraints that a first timer might have, do what makes your heart sing."  ~Donna
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  • jennylee813jennylee813 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I agree. I think they were trying to be helpful, not realizing that you might have some guilt that isn't on public display. Like PP says, make it your mantra. I used to joke with my ex-husband when we were planning our wedding that "my next wedding will be the one that I want, not the one everyone else wants." Little did I know ...

    (and for the record, ex and I are on great terms. We just weren't meant to be married to each other.)
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I agree with what the previous posters said!  Take that statement and make it a positive.  Have the wedding you want!!  I truly believe that is what they were trying to tell you. 
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  • meganniemegannie
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    My fiance's response the first time we heard the "second" wedding comment was......"but it's not OUR second wedding, it's our first wedding to each other."

    It's worked every time.
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