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New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs

MikesAngieMikesAngie member
Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
in Second Weddings
Starts airing on WE on November 13 - why on earth would anyone encourage this bad behavior?
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Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs

  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Because it causes drama, and folks to talk about it.  Blah.  The problem with this really is that now we'll have a bunch of women who want their PPD.  ARGH.  Remember, it's the wedding INDUSTRY behind all of this.  They get more money if they promote this kind of thing as OK. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Now that you've said that Retread, I wonder if it's also the women who aren't happy in their marriages, that they think if they have the PPD that maybe it will change the relationship somehow?  And of course, I'm not sure that would be all of them, but maybe a certain percentage. . .
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:d3ee4829-3d33-4007-aa74-b9bc63a6eed9">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Absolutely, and that's sad, too. So many women get caught up in the WEDDING hoopla that they forget that what they'll have the Day After is a MARRIAGE.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I think most of us getting married for the second time around understand this.  It's the one concept I wish I could impart to first-time brides on these boards.  If a bride and groom can't maturely figure out a budget, a guest list, and religious priorities for ONE day, how on earth do they expect to do this together for the rest of their lives?
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  • sperbunkisperbunki member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Avion - I wish this forum had a "like" button! :) As I type this an episode of Brizillas plays on my DVR. THAT show is a joke. I wonder if the divorce rate for people who appear on it is at or around 100%!

    April
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:f325c4a0-d2a5-4f0c-b324-35a7d9b1ee38">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Avion - I wish this forum had a "like" button! :) As I type this an episode of Brizillas plays on my DVR. THAT show is a joke. I wonder if the divorce rate for people who appear on it is at or around 100%! April
    Posted by sperbunki[/QUOTE]

    April -- I love watching Bridezillas  because it's like watching a train wreck.  It makes me feel so much better about myself.  I wonder how much those brides get paid, and how much of their b*tchiness is an act they put on for the cameras.   If it's all for real, then I pity those poor grooms....
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  • tcjamestcjames
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Question Ladies... What is your idea of a wedding do over? I'm curious
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  • ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Avion-That's why I started watching it.  I do wonder about the divorce rate.  Especially the season finale episode with Johanne...  WTF was up with her?

    tcjames-I was wondering the same thing, too.  From what I've seen, these are people's weddings who got cancelled for one reason or another or it rained, or whatever.  It didn't really seem like someone didn't like the way their PPD came out and they want another one.  I could be completely wrong.  Might watch the first episode just to see.

    We are getting married outside and I am concerned about rain.  However, my photographer made a good point about it.  One, cloudy skies make for better pics.  Two, if it rains, it is part of the day.  Nothing to be done about it.  So, we are going into it with that perspective.  I will be bummed if it rains, but will be so happy to be marrying my FI - I won't worry about it.
    Anniversary
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  • tcjamestcjames
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So you all think that no matter what happened married couples do not have the right to VR anyway they want too. I know somethings are outlandish but looking at someone's individual circumstances doesn't count at all.
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    tcjames, to further clarify, there are lots of women who appear on this board and say "I didn't have a wedding. I got married at the courthouse, and now I want my pretty princess day (PPD)" 

    First, that insults those of us who chose to do something similar.  My DH and I chose to have just the two of us and the officiant on a beach.  We didn't just decide to get married on a whim, we carefully selected this option.

    Second, if a couple have to get divorced or one of them widowed to NOT be married, they most certainly DID have a wedding.  What they didn't have was the big throw down reception.  The problem is that the wedding INDUSTRY makes it seem that if you don't have the huge party and big dress, that you're missing out on something.

    For myself, but I understand not for others, I give a "pass" to those couples who are planning a big wedding, but then one gets deployed before it takes place.  Illness and a few other things I can understand as well.  However, it's the ENTITLEMENT that drives me crazy.  And that's the difference with these do-overs. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • tcjamestcjames
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had a wedding at the courthouse and I would never down play that it still makes me smile after 13 yrs. However it was not by chioce. We had to choose to be honorable children or selfish adults (long story), but honorable children won hands down no second thoughts, no regrets. But now we're in a new stage in our lives so why not do it big, I say. Best part it's all DH's idea he said after all we been through the least he can do is give me what I was suppose to have years ago. So there it is , I'm a VRer who's going big but not over the top. For me it's more about family finally getting to witness our love & for us to tell how with faith, hard work, a little compromise & honesty it can last forever. Believe me when I tell you we've seen way too many Kim Kardasian marriages & relationships and it's sad to say it's all due to selfishness.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Gee, wonder if Kim Kardashian will have a "Wedding Do-over"? You know, where she actually thinks it's for REAL? For "better or WORSE"?


    I do understand some circumstances however when couples may have a late reception because one of the spouses is in the military and being deployed, or one of them is ill but they want to proceed anyway with something "big" when that spouse feels better. I guess I wouldn't call them "do-overs", but more vow renewals, or "delayed receptions".

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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    tcjames, your family doesn't "witness your love" (whatever that means) every day? I would think that day to day actions speak louder, in a sense, than a few minutes of a ceremony.

    A vow renewal, as Retread has stated, is fine.  I thihnk it's especially important if the couple has gone through some stuff and they've come out the other side. 

    However, just feeling that one wants the day to wear the big white dress is just a  'do-over" and completely different.  The brides I spoke of in my earlier post have usually been married just a year or two, and that's when the entitlement issue rears its head. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:5d8b8d87-665e-4ddf-a134-045b54799efa">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE]tcjames, your family doesn't "witness your love" (whatever that means) every day? I would think that day to day actions speak louder, in a sense, than a few minutes of a ceremony. A vow renewal, as Retread has stated, is fine.  I thihnk it's especially important if the couple has gone through some stuff and they've come out the other side.  However, just feeling that one wants the day to wear the big white dress is just a  'do-over" and completely different.  The brides I spoke of in my earlier post have usually been married just a year or two, and<strong> that's when the entitlement issue rears its head. 
    </strong>Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    That was the focus of a recent episode of Bridezillas.  The woman (Kim, for any of you that may have seen it) kept talking about her "wedding" and "her day".  Every once in awhile it slipped out that it was a VR.  This woman had serious entitlement issues.  She actually laid hands on her sister and a BM who weren't doing what she wanted.  That entitlement crap is just that, crap.
    Anniversary
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:01b8485f-caba-48aa-bde8-6226f5fd385a">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE] but <strong>I think they strengthened their vows every time she dealt with his drinking or he had to sit beside her bed and hold her hand while she was moaning from cancer pain.
    </strong>Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    QFT.   So I am going to make an unpopular statement- frankly, I don't buy the "we've been through so much, we <em>deserve</em> a big celebration after all that."  Life is challenging.  Marriage is challenging.  Couples often celebrate the adversity they overcame by waiting 25 or 50 years to have a party, because they recognize that adversity comes along all through the years.  And it comes with a vengeance in those later years.

    In <u>my</u> opinion- when you make a choice (and tcjames choosing to be obedient children rather than what you describe as selfish adults is still a choice) you MUST be willing to accept the consequences of that choice. A choice means that you understand what you are choosing and what you are giving up. So, for me, I am perplexed when the person who made the choice has regrets about that choice, and wants to get what they willingly gave up. And most often, what I hear that the couple decided to give things up for is to get married sooner.   For example, if we get married in 24 months, we can afford the whole big hoopla. But we don't wa-a-a-a-annna! So we will get married in 4 months. And in 20 months (notably the time that they could have waited originally) they decide that now that they can afford it, they deserve to have the party they willingly gave up. Those are the ones that make me nuts. Why didn't you just wait originally?  And they will always answer about how much more important the reason was. Well, if it was <em>more important</em> then there's your answer. 
    I agree with handfast that military service and deployment is an acceptable circumstance to marry now & party later.

    More than anything else, I don't accept that a vow renewal is in any way shape or form comparable to a second (or subsequent) wedding.  I really wish the Knot would make a VR board.  They could all support each other's entitlement there.
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  • ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A VR board would go at least a little ways to clearing up the confusion of what a second wedding is.  For some people, anyway.  :)
    Anniversary
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And can we have a Celtic brides board and a Pagan Board too?  Because if we have boards for other religions and race/ethnicities, then it's plain discrimination to NOT have a Celtic board and a Pagan board. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • tcjamestcjames
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:5d8b8d87-665e-4ddf-a134-045b54799efa">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>tcjames, your family doesn't "witness your love" (whatever that means) every day? I would think that day to day actions speak louder, in a sense, than a few minutes of a ceremony.</strong> A vow renewal, as Retread has stated, is fine.  <strong>I thihnk it's especially important if the couple has gone through some stuff and they've come out the other side. </strong> However, just <strong>feeling that one wants the day to wear the big white dress is just a  'do-over"</strong> and completely different.  The brides I spoke of in my earlier post have usually been married just a year or two, and that's when the entitlement issue rears its head. 
    Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    Actually besides our children No they don't. Our family are scattered across the US. They ceremony part is to appease my husband, the party is set up like a family reunion for both sides because our children hear about all these aunts, uncle, & cousins but have yet to meet any of them & not for a lack of trying.

    I won't specify why, but coming out on the other side definitely applies to us!!

    Don't need the big white anything I can be butt naked on the tundra with just us in the eyes of God, as long as he shows up I'm happy. Honestly, I would rather cruise somewhere but this DH idea & I have no prblem compromising to make this VR something we can both be proud of!!

    ETA: I don't feel entitled to anything.Yes I made a choice and never once questioned or threw it in our mothers face how they ruined my PPD & I'm too Godly to even attempt to dishonor them in any form or fashion.

    Therefore you have your opinoins on VR I have my about 2nd, 3rd, & 4th marriages also. But I would never tell someone what, how, when or where to do it!! I'm not looking for anyone to justify my action. Just wanted a insight on how 2nd & 3rd time married people would feel about VR.
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  • tcjamestcjames
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'm sorry and truly apologize if I made it seem like I was taking it personal. I'm definitely not ! :)  I totally understand that there are women out there that "entitle themselves to the PPD" after a year or two or sometimes less than that. So I can see where the negativity about VR's come in.

    Honestly I just wanted an remarried point of view on VR's.

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  • ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just looked at the WE TV website about the show...  Here's their blurb:

    "In this premiere season, watch as Diann — along with Jim McCann, founder of 1-800-FLOWERS.COM and Celebrations.com — transforms bridal memories plagued by natural disasters, fainting grooms and missing dresses, into fantasy celebrations that will reset their matrimony. Don't miss as Diann and her team pull together elements of grandeur these couples could never imagine... in just FIVE days! Stories include a wedding destroyed by a tsunami fueled storm, a five-alarm reception hall fire, a groom rendered unconscious during the ceremony, and every bride’s worst nightmare - a seamstress gone missing with ALL of the dresses!"

    They are also asking for people to apply to the show.  They have a "feed" on the page with people's stories.  Some of them are definitely "entitlement" issues. 
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Has anyone tried out their "Should You Have a Wedding Do-Over" quiz?  If you say your actual wedding was anything other than perfect, it pretty much tells you to do it over.

    One of the stories deals with someone who thought her wedding was fine except that she didn't have professional pictures of it.  I don't have any professional pictures of my first wedding.  But I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean that our 20-year marriage never happened!
    Anniversary
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  • crazynlove2011crazynlove2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was once one of the "do over" thinking kind of girl. First wedding was planned in 2 weeks due to a deployment right after 9/11. It was just close friends and family with a simple dress and just a ceremony. When he returned from Iraq, we originally were planning a big do over. Granted I was 25 and thought I missed out on all the dress, first dance hoopla. We ended up not doing it-thank goodness. Looking back now, I realize I thought it would fix our marriage issues and make it "perfect" again. A do-over wouldn't have fixed domestic abuse, post traumatic stress for him, etc. 

    Now (I am 31), I see the error of my ways. It is truly about the marriage and not a wedding. It is simply one day and the dress, flowers, ring doesn't make the marriage a success. To remind myself of that, I think of my grandma who had a tiny bouquet of carnations and wore her Sunday best dress with just her immediate family when she married my grandpa. I will never forget him holding her hand and stroking her hair while she lay dying in the hospital, tenderly caring for her. She, dignified as always and always looking out for him, waited until he left before taking her last breath. That is a marriage and what I think about when I find myself dwelling too much on a single day. (FYI I am eloping with FI and his kids). Time has truly changed my opinion on the whole thing.
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  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:b0652e73-d19b-421c-b7ae-7f31a322f6df">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Has anyone tried out their "Should You Have a Wedding Do-Over" quiz?  If you say your actual wedding was anything other than perfect, it pretty much tells you to do it over. One of the stories deals with someone who thought her wedding was fine except that she didn't have professional pictures of it.  I don't have any professional pictures of my first wedding.  But I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean that our 20-year marriage never happened!
    Posted by 2dBride[/QUOTE]

    Pfft, I didn't have a professional photographer either, but i'm more than happy with what I got. A lot of people I know didn't have a pro photographer, and have wonderful, mutually fulfilling marriages and at least one good photo to display. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who spent thousands on "the best" professional wedding photographers, and many of them are miserable because the photos aren't as good as they expected for the cost.

    What a lot of these girls need to learn is, you can't always get what you want, and there's simply no such thing as a perfect wedding. SOMETHING is going to go wrong on that day. Heck, several things may go wrong, but there is just nothing to do about it except make the best of the situation, smooth it over, and move on. I myself had about a half dozen snafu's at my wedding. My 2 year old niece chattered all throughout the ceremony (which was adorable imo). My aunt took an extremely loud phone call while DH's uncle was blessing the meal at the reception. my cake topper went MIA (thankfully we were able to retrieve it before the meal started). The bustle on my dress was defective, so I had to carry it around on the hanger loop all day, and I ended up slipping on it and falling on my butt while dancing (and it was caught on video). A lot of people that were really important to us weren't able to make it, so we ended up with only a couple dozen people instead of the almost 100 people we invited. The song we picked for the mother/son dance wouldn't play on the DJ's equipment (we picked another song and there was a couple minutes of silence while that occured). The reception ended around 2-3 hours earlier than we expected it to, most people ate and then had to run.

    I'm sure that a lot of these girls with entitlement issues would be crying and screaming for a "do-over" if all these things happened at their weddings. But I never will. Why? Because I had the best day of my life despite everything, and I refused to let ANYTHING ruin my day. Even when I fell down in front of everyone (supposedly a bride's worst nightmare, with video evidence to boot), I laughed hysterically. I was smiling in all 823 photos that my photographer caught that day. I think that speaks volumes. Be happy with what you have in life, and remember the important things.
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  • ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_new-tv-show-wedding-overs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f31914db-b5d5-45a7-93c1-021a2eaf2429Post:3651b3e9-1c79-4481-8ee7-d1e4b1f32628">Re: New TV Show About Wedding Do-Overs</a>:
    [QUOTE]that will reset their matrimony. <strong>This is not going to fix anything that's wrong with their marriages..</strong>..and anyone who can't handle wedding mishaps won't be able to deal with lost jobs, a spouse's battle with cancer, a miscarriage, a child's learning disability, or a broken water heater.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    This is so true.  I had a "PPD" for my first wedding.  We even renewed our vows at one point.  The PPD didn't fix or save anything. 
    Anniversary
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