Second Weddings

My Dress Came IN and I.....do not like it.......

Well, I was almost afraid of this when I bought it...I hadn't felt the "emotion" attatched to "the" dress.......when I bought it.....

I went with 3 ppl, my besty gfriend....my aunt and my step-mom....they were pulling dresses from every direction, from ball gowns to mermaids, tosheths...it was all very ver whelming....

I knew I was on a deadline being less than 4 months away and not having a dress on order....

SO.....I ordered a dres I thought would be perfect for the ceremony and brunch reception, not to formal, not to "young" just perfect...and I convinced myself for the last few weeks......

They said it would take 3 mos, it took 3 weeks !  Thankfully it came in sooner than later, because I tried it on and I really did not like it .....

The color I ordered was Ivory and , well to say the least it looks awful against my skin coloring, which I guess would be in the olive catagory, medium toned....

So, I am going back toniute in search of a new dress.......Alone....with no one to say this or that.....

The only thing I am concerned about is....I dont want to get a dress that is "too young" or "too bridal" or "not appropiate" for a woman who is 48, in a second marriage BUT marrying the most perfect man for me.....

Did anyone else follow the "ettiquette rules of a 2nd marriage....

What were your dresses like ???

Pics, I would love !


Help.......

Here was my dress, but in Ivory lace over champagne liner....looks gorgeous on the manican, but awful as awful on me






Re: My Dress Came IN and I.....do not like it.......

  • roaaoiferoaaoife member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you don't love it, you don't love it. This day is about you.  Fewer and fewer brides are holding to the "Virginal white" rule anymore.  I've seen dresses in gold, silver, ivory, pink, etc, etc.  The reverse is also true.  There's no reason you can't wear white for your second wedding, if that's what you want.  And there's nothing wrong with a "bridal" dress.  You're a bride, after all- you're supposed to look bridal.  As for too young, go for a classic look- they have no age limit.  

    Don't let anyone or any "rules" push you into something you don't want. It's YOUR day, and you can wear whatever YOU want to.
  • mybooboosmybooboos member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's a beautiful dress...but if it's not for you, than you need to find something that makes you feel like a bride, since that's what you are!  It may be better shopping the second time around, by yourself, since you now know what you don't want, and you won't have others around influencing your decision.  I didn't want "bridal", because I didn't think it was for me, but in the end, that's what I ended up buying - because it spoke to me (I'm still stunned).

    Good luck tonight...speaking with dresses and seeing which ones speak back!
    Presentation is everything!! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Debi, I have an olive complexion as well and white looks best on me and will be the color of my gown when it comes in.  The gown you shared with us is gorgeous would you like it better in white on white?

    Also please remember this when it comes to your wedding it's your and your FI's day and your FIRST marriage together - it's the one that counts!! The only rules you have to follow are those of basic etiquette and not the dated rules of 20 years ago. 

    Retread has the "new rules" down and I hope she responds to this. 
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I didn't wear a white dress the first time I got married.  I'm wearing a dusk/blue floor-length dress this time.  I've never been into Victorian white.

    First, if you don't like the dress, don't get it.  You need to find something you like, something you love or -- at the very least -- something you feel looks good on you.  Second, if you want to go bridal, go for it.  Since you're shopping on your own (that's what I did!), wander over to the area with bridesmaids dresses and see if anything strikes you there.  And, if both sections are no good, move on.  There are a ga-zillion stores with a ba-zillion dresses ... you will find one that you like.

    I found my dress in the Special Occasion department at Nordstrom ... not even looking for it.  You'll find yours, too!  Good luck.
  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry you don't love your gown. :(

    I don't believe in "too young" when it comes to adult clothing.  It's all about how you wear it and make it your own.  Twenty year olds can look horriblly inappropriate and ridiculous in something just as easily as a fifty year old.     (I had sleeves added to my gown, because fat upper arms aren't pretty at any age!)

    I went with white for a third wedding, at nearly 40.  Sure, it had black detailing, but the gown was white and had layers of tulle and crinoline under there and I strutted out just as proudly and unashamed as any first-time bride - if not moreso.

    I NEVER advocate taking anyone with you when gown shopping, myself.  I think it's a recipe for disaster.  What you feel about it (and your fiance if you're not worried about him seeing it - my husband helped pick mine when doing the online browsing of designers) is all that matters.

    My final fitting, minus the many undergarments.




    The wedding, with all of the under layers!


    10-10-10
  • debi1941debi1941 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Melissamc2, you looked absolutely gorgeous!  Thank you so much for sharing your wedding photo....u r now a happy happy newleywe!  I can't wait to be in your shoes!  a few months to go.....

    Thank you all so much for all the wonderful words, and also of coure taing the time to respond.....

    I think tonite, i am going to keep a clear head, and not hear my "sister" in the background saying, well, it is a 2nd marriage, you shouldn't wear bridal anyways.....

    I am going to listen to all the wonderful Knotty's out there, whom are all in the same arena as me...engaged or newly married and of course on their "2nd" or happier marriage as I like to say......not one who has been married forever or worst bee divorced even longer.....Tongue out

    I should have gona alone, but was excited and wanted to make sure I got a dress that was appropiate, well, hecky with appropiate, they all made me buy a dress they liked....and ultimately i was unhappy with.......

    Thanks Again!

    And Again !
  • edited December 2011
    That is such a bummer Debi!  Definitely take it back and get something you love.  I'm planning to wear a beautiful teal, tea length modern dress that isn't too formal or too foo-fooie.

    Good luck in your search!
    MarBear and Sweetie
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Mine was tea length and green with gold threads going through it.
  • edited December 2011
    Your dress is absolutely GORGEOUS!  That was the look that I was going for!  But if you don't love it, you don't love it.  I went shopping all of two times.  It took me weeks to get the nerve to go by myself the first time.  I had dabbled into it, but when I walked into the salon, I was swept away by new brides, and my good vibes vanished...

    My first apointment, which I did solo, was very good.  I tried on all different styles of dresses, and at 44 non seemed tooo young or too first time bridal.  They just didnt fit the venue.  On my second appointment I took my son and daughter, and they both chose this dress by overwhelming majority:




    When it came it I hated it.  It was sooo plain - it had no lace, no sparkle, no nothing.  I wondered why the heck I bought it in the first place...

    ...And then I bought dress number two....  A Maggie Sottero with lace and crystal and UFFFF everything.   But you know what?  That wasn't my dress either.  It didnt fit the venue and it didnt fit who I was.  I like to shine, but in a very low keyed way.  What my dress lacked in lace/sparkle/etc it made up for in cut.  It shows the waist I have not seen in 12 years.

    So, my advice is... before you run out and get another dress take a breathe.  Mark all the things you like and dont like about what you have.  And try this (as it worked for me) find some alone time with your dress.  Put it on with the shoes, makeup the whole thing.  And then decide what you love and hate. 

    Wishing you gooooo dressss vibes!!!!!!!!!!!
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    For my second wedding, I wore a strapless ivory dress and an ivory veil, along with bridal slippers, a crinoline, and opera gloves.  The only reason I didn't wear white is because it just didn't look as good with my complexion.  Get the dress you want, and don't worry about it being "too bridal."



  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Debi, that dress is gorgeous, but there are lots of dresses that look great on hanger, not great on YOU. Sorry you are faced with this quandary.

    I will be wearing 2 dresses, link in bio below for "attire". I'm going to make my ceremony dress only because I got a great deal on fabric, LOL. But the reception dress, which is considered a "destination wedding" dress, by Landa, was perfect and I got it at a sample sale. Not sure where they sell near you, but check out this link:

    http://www.landadesigns.com/index.php?cPath=6

    I just did a search for Illinois under store locator, they have tons. Most of the dresses come in different shades (white, ivory, diamond).

    Also, Group USA (which doesn't have a bridal section in IL) has great wedding dresses and "destination" styles at very reasonable prices, website here:

    http://www.camillelavie.com/c-obp100.cfm

    Perhaps if you want to see their products in person, you could find one in another state close to you? I've been to their store in Michigan, and the quality is good, but with your current experience, you may not want to order online.

    Also, www.unique-vintage.com has fun OR lovely dresses for reasonable prices. Again, online, but if you know what looks good on you, might work.

    Good luck. I'm sure you will find SOMETHING you love! And, do not LISTEN to anyone about what you can or cannot wear to your wedding.
  • tlgilmoretlgilmore member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    You get to wear whatever makes you comfortable and feels gorgeous!! I have been uncomfortable with the idea of white being my second marriage but everything I have read says its not a big deal.  I am going dress shopping next week for the first time..  Who knows what I will find..  Lol!!

    Your dress is gorgeous though, do you mind me asking where you found it? 

    I hope the second time around goes wonderfully!  Good luck!!  And remember, its YOUR day!! :)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • debi1941debi1941 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, in case anyone is checking back I wantedto share an uodate...

    But first I would like to thank again all the wonderful feed back I received on my dilemna and also the all the  perfect words of wisdom that made me feel so much better about the whole idea of my bridal dress....

    I found a dress that I felt the "emotion" , "talked to me" (mybooboos, thank you....it spoke!)< made me feel absolutely beautifulin  and I didn't want to take off!

    I agree with a lot of you, my first dress was absolutely gorgeous on the hanger, but on me, it lost the beauty and was just a dress.......

    I bought a white taffetta halter, high backed dress with a train, and well, my sister can just mutter under her breath all the "rules" in her had I am breaking by wearing this dress.....

    For me, I found an elegant, mature, sexy bridal gown....and for my First Marriage to my wonderful husband to be , I think it will be perfect! (thnxs MikesAngie)

    I was lucky to have a wonderful consultant who showed me what she thought I would like just from talking to me.....she was honest, sincere and my guardian dress angel! Thanks Brenda!!!!!

    My old dress looked gorgeous on the hanger, but in my eyes my new dress looks gorgeous on me..... (just gotta get the right halter bra, to lift the girls up...)

    xoxo to all !






  • debi1941debi1941 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    tlgilmore

    I actually bought my dress at Davids Bridal......I love them, they were wonderful and very accomodateing ! The one thing I liked about their store is that NO dress is over 1200.......alot under 500!

    Let me add, in person this dress is absolutely beautiful.

    It is a total lace overlay....uponthe lace which you cannot see in person, are tiny crystals......it shimmers, it is elegant, it is a little sexy.....

    it come in white on white, Ivory on ivory and Ivory over champagne...thats what I had ordered......



    I think if I would have ordered it in white on white,  would have loved it.....the color I chose was hiddeous on me.......

    the stock number is T9612


    Let me know!!!!!

    Debi
  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Congrats on finding THE dress!  It is beautiful and you absolutely glow wearing it.  Your DH will be knocked outta his shoes when he sees you in it!  (Looks like a strapless might work for you, or ask if they can sew in bra cups - have heard of that, worth looking into)

    When your sister mutters about you breaking all the rules, just look her way and say, Jealous much?

    Can hear you singing Oh Happy Day....
    Anniversary
  • tlgilmoretlgilmore member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Debi!

    I am actually planning on going to David's next week.  Sadly from the website I think it is out of my budget. :(

    So happy you found "your" dress.  Its beautiful!!  Congrats!!

    Terri
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_dress-came-ido-not-like?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:fc48d1fe-8c3c-4a5a-a369-146d5faa849ePost:ecadec9c-a365-426b-aa29-b3b5c98dae4c">Re: My Dress Came IN and I.....do not like it.......</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, in case anyone is checking back I wantedto share an uodate... But first I would like to thank again all the wonderful feed back I received on my dilemna and also the all the  perfect words of wisdom that made me feel so much better about the whole idea of my bridal dress.... I found a dress that I felt the "emotion" , "talked to me" ( mybooboos , thank you....it spoke!)< made me feel absolutely beautifulin  and I didn't want to take off! I agree with a lot of you, my first dress was absolutely gorgeous on the hanger, but on me, it lost the beauty and was just a dress....... I bought a white taffetta halter, high backed dress with a train, and well, my sister can just mutter under her breath all the "rules" in her had I am breaking by wearing this dress..... For me, I found an elegant, mature, sexy bridal gown....and for my First Marriage to my wonderful husband to be , I think it will be perfect! (thnxs MikesAngie ) I was lucky to have a wonderful consultant who showed me what she thought I would like just from talking to me.....she was honest, sincere and my guardian dress angel! Thanks Brenda!!!!! My old dress looked gorgeous on the hanger, but in my eyes my new dress looks gorgeous on me..... (just gotta get the right halter bra, to lift the girls up...) xoxo to all !
    Posted by debi1941[/QUOTE]

    First of all I'm asking myself "OMG how did I miss this post??????"

    Second of all <strong><u>GOOD FOR YOU for finding a gorgeous dress</u></strong> that makes you feel beautiful, I love it on you!!!!

    Congratulations, you will look and feel amazing on your wedding day now. 
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