Moms and Maids

FMIL Dress Vent

My FMIL is making me crazy. She really wants to by her dress for our June wedding ASAP; that's fine. The problem is she is stuck on etiquette. She refuses to buy ANYTHING before my mom does.

We (my mom and I) have told her its fine to buy something, no one will be offended. She knows the wedding colors (she came BM dress shopping) and she knows the feel of the wedding. She has been a very involved FMIL which has been a joy, except for this one thing.

My mom is on a weight loss track and doesn't want to buy her dress just yet, plus spring/summer styles are just starting to come out.

FMIL's hair dresser told the FMIL that her dress really is important and she hates her wedding pics because one of the moms stands out because she didn't blend with everyone.

I feel like I have given her plenty of guidelines JUST GO BUY THE DRESS!
Pregnancy Ticker

Re: FMIL Dress Vent

  • Your FMIL is probably afraid of breaking that ancient etiquette rule that the MOB should buy her dress first and forward the information to the MOG, so she may follow her lead.
    Just continue to reassure her that neither you, nor your mom, mind if she goes first.
                       
  • Maybe she is just looking for MORE direction. I know  you told her the colors of your wedding but maybe the hues of the colors have her confused.
    Make a day of helping her find her dress. I did this with my MOG. She wanted to match the wedding so we had a girls day out with my MOH (Groom's sister) and the MOG to help her pick her dress and then had a nice lunch afterwards. She found hers before my mom found hers and we had a really fun bonding day.
    Maybe she just wants help!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • I am in the exact same situation. Wedding is in June so I told my FMIL that my Mom is waiting for spring dresses and will be looking for a pink dress. She knows what color the bridesmaids are so I asked her to simply go with another one of the wedding colors or something neutral. So far she hasn't asked me about since, its been about a week. Good Luck!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-dress-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:05aaa225-d2a8-462c-8c93-1f50819c2375Post:cca584e4-f3c3-4528-bf02-d6f005e8ed43">Re: FMIL Dress Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL Dress Vent : Oh that is great. Sadly, my FMIL will probably be wearing anything but beige. On the up side, she has indicated she will wait to find out colors and guidelines at least. To the OP, I think your best bet is to give her a date. The reason she won't stop bugging you is that you have probably been vague. Understandable in your situation, but unacceptable to a person with this personality type. She really really really wants to shop now (perhaps maybe already found/saw something she wants to buy), which hopefully means she's excited about your wedding. She probably thinks you are too busy to remember to tell her the minute your mom buys a dress. If you give her a very specific answer, and she continues contacting you, you have the right to ignore. She may not be thrilled, but at least she will get off your case. Tell her you or your mother will contact her on that date to update her on your mother's shopping plans - if she found a dress, if she's still looking, etc. You can reiterate your point that neither you nor your mother mind if she shops first, but I doubt she will listen..
    Posted by SaraR715[/QUOTE]

    i agree
  • "FMIL, mom's not planning on even starting to look until May.  If you'd like to start shopping now you're more than welcome to, in fact I'd love to have a girls shopping day with you to help if you want!  But I'm sure whatever you pick will be lovely."

    I would then ignore any recurring "has it happened yet" emails.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards