MOH speech

kms8344

I'm the MOH in my cousin's October wedding. This past weekend she asked me how my speech was coming.  I've only been to one wedding that the MOh gave a speech and an awful one at that.  Is it truly necessary for me to give a speech?  Its not that I don't love her, but with the hell that she has put me through from the moment she got engaged I don't think I can do this.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to be part of her wedding.  Do I really have to give a speech or can I go with more of a "congrats/best wishes" deal?

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-speech-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:08e9e64c-f11b-4fd1-b249-55b071b279d2Post:4b1ced10-3a29-4638-b214-485400bd51d6">MOH speech</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm the MOH in my cousin's October wedding. This past weekend she asked me how my speech was coming.  I've only been to one wedding that the MOh gave a speech and an awful one at that.  Is it truly necessary for me to give a speech?  Its not that I don't love her, but with the hell that she has put me through from the moment she got engaged I don't think I can do this.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to be part of her wedding.  Do I really have to give a speech or can I go with more of a "congrats/best wishes" deal?
Posted by kms8344[/QUOTE]
You don't have to make any speech at all, but if you'd rather go through with it than deal with the fall out if you decline, I think it's fine to give a short, sweet, and to the point speech.

AdeleDazeem

If you don't want to make a speech then you absolutely should not have to.  Don't let them pressure you.

Speeches are something people volunteer to do, not something you are told to do.

tseguin

Would she not accept the excuse that you are just not comfortable with standing and talking in front of all those people? Maybe she can have another bm do the speech instead?  Not sure how rational or irrational she is.

santana9505

If a groom doesn't absolutely HAVE to write his own wedding vows..then in my opinion, a MOH does not absolutely HAVE to write a speech. Ultimately, it is your decision. And if you decide you'd rather not speak, then hopefully she will understand your situation. As PP states- people volunteer for speeches, they are not elected for them. Good luck!

gmcr78

You don't have to do a speech, but if you would rather do it than suffer the wrath, then you can just do a brief toast.
When I was MOH I didn't want to do a speech at the wedding b/c people want to get on with things, and the Best Man/Officiant were both doing speeches.  So I did mine at the rehearsal dinner instead.

Maggie0829

You most definitely do not have to give a speech.  I was MOH in my sisters wedding and I was terrified about talking in front of people.  She had no qualms about me not giving a speech.  In return, she was my MOH and absolutely did not want to give a speech for the same reasons I had.  This is fine with me as well.  My H's BM didn't give a speech either...he was extremely nervous about it and doesn't like public speaking as well.  Guess what?  No one even noticed that no one gave a speech.

If you feel like you need to say something keep it short, sweet and simple, like...
"Name of bride, I love you and I wish you and her Hs name all the best.  To the bride and groom **raise your glass in a toasting gesture**"