tomboy mother in law!!

beamer84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tomboy-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:08ed8b0b-d701-44e1-b264-6592b86c7ee4Post:71834ccf-849e-428f-9159-552200b1a6cb">Re: tomboy mother in law!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm lucky… they both asked what color they should wear… I choose silver, it will go great with purple and green, it's neutral, will look good on both of them and chance are, what they buy will be worn again.  That being said I wouldn't try to stop them from wearing anything other than white, black or pink… I hate pink
Posted by msgraphics[/QUOTE]

I agree with the other PPs - you can't tell an adult what to wear (BP excepted, and then only the dress unless the bride is paying). I also disagree whole-heartedly with msgraphics. My MIL wore a dress to my wedding that was a color that I personally wouldn't be caught dead in. However, you know what? It looked gorgeous on her, and it was a very nice dress. I made sure to tell her so when we looked at wedding pics together. (I wasn't focused enough to do so on my wedding day.)

beamer84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tomboy-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:08ed8b0b-d701-44e1-b264-6592b86c7ee4Post:f0ba015b-e16e-4cbf-b45d-3fd444eb4ff1">Re: tomboy mother in law!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In response to everyone, I was not at all pushy or demanding when I talked to her and this was something that we discussed 8 months ago.  I offered to go shopping as a girls thing on many occasions but still nothing.  I was never rude and didn't mention anything about her finances until she brought it up. Knowing her situation before hand we already put the money aside for her dress to gift to her.  I am completely ok with her wearing a pants suit to match the semi formal dress code. However, <strong>It is my choice to have the mothers match the fathers</strong> and that's exactly what I am going to do thank you for you suggestion and opinions.  You do things your way and I will do things my way.  Good luck on your day
Posted by kiaratmoore[/QUOTE]

Again, you don't get to decide what adults wear. Also, no one will notice if couples wear matching outfits/colors or not. My Dad got a tux with a vest that matched my Mom's dress, but I doubt many people noticed. They asked me repeatedly what I thought of their wedding attire. I kept saying that as long as they liked what they wore, it was fine with me. I told them the colors that DH and his GM would be wearing when they asked about those. I was thrilled with their choices though. I couldn't tell you what MIL's bf wore, other than that it was a dark suit (or maybe a tux?). I don't even remember the color.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tomboy-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:08ed8b0b-d701-44e1-b264-6592b86c7ee4Post:f0ba015b-e16e-4cbf-b45d-3fd444eb4ff1">Re: tomboy mother in law!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In response to everyone, I was not at all pushy or demanding when I talked to her and this was something that we discussed 8 months ago.  I offered to go shopping as a girls thing on many occasions but still nothing.  I was never rude and didn't mention anything about her finances until she brought it up. Knowing her situation before hand we already put the money aside for her dress to gift to her.  I am completely ok with her wearing a pants suit to match the semi formal dress code. However, It is my choice to have the mothers match the fathers and that's exactly what I am going to do thank you for you suggestion and opinions.  You do things your way and I will do things my way.  Good luck on your day
Posted by kiaratmoore[/QUOTE]

The thing though is that your FMIL is a grown woman.  So she doesn't have to do things your way if she doesn't want to.  That's the issue here - while it would be great if she did, she's fully in charge of what she wears.

mellimel19

I would be incredibly offended if my FDIL tried to dress me for her wedding. An adult woman is perfectly capable of choosing her own attire, and mothers don't need to match the bridal party. And she has plenty of time to find something she likes. There's no reason she needs to find her outfit 5 months in advance.

filaw

I've posted this before, but I come out strongly on the side of, "grown women" sometimes decide to wear crazy things.

I do wish I had participated more in what my mother chose to wear to the wedding.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tomboy-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:08ed8b0b-d701-44e1-b264-6592b86c7ee4Post:f0ba015b-e16e-4cbf-b45d-3fd444eb4ff1">Re: tomboy mother in law!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In response to everyone, I was not at all pushy or demanding when I talked to her and this was something that we discussed 8 months ago.  I offered to go shopping as a girls thing on many occasions but still nothing.  I was never rude and didn't mention anything about her finances until she brought it up. Knowing her situation before hand we already put the money aside for her dress to gift to her.  I am completely ok with her wearing a pants suit to match the semi formal dress code. However, It is my choice to have the mothers match the fathers and that's exactly what I am going to do thank you for you suggestion and opinions.  You do things your way and I will do things my way.  Good luck on your day
Posted by kiaratmoore[/QUOTE]
Your way leads you down a road that has your mother in law not wanting anything to do with you.  Our way leads to a relationship where you respect each other as adults.  See the difference?  You can do things "your way" all you want, but you have to accept that there are consequences to the way you treat people.

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tomboy-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:08ed8b0b-d701-44e1-b264-6592b86c7ee4Post:798acde4-2462-4a22-a64e-ad35614cb513">Re: tomboy mother in law!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I've posted this before, but I come out strongly on the side of, "grown women" sometimes decide to wear crazy things. I do wish I had participated more in what my mother chose to wear to the wedding.
Posted by filaw[/QUOTE]

And your are awesome for not letting it get to you. I've been to a friend wedding  recently where the MOG wore a white dress, I seriously didn't notice until at a friend told me waiting in the receiving line.

filaw, if you want I can totally use my photoshop skills and make it navy for you. It should be easy since its cream/white. :)

bAEbling

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tomboy-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:08ed8b0b-d701-44e1-b264-6592b86c7ee4Post:f0ba015b-e16e-4cbf-b45d-3fd444eb4ff1">Re: tomboy mother in law!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In response to everyone, I was not at all pushy or demanding when I talked to her and this was something that we discussed 8 months ago.  I offered to go shopping as a girls thing on many occasions but still nothing.  I was never rude and didn't mention anything about her finances until she brought it up. Knowing her situation before hand we already put the money aside for her dress to gift to her.  I am completely ok with her wearing a pants suit to match the semi formal dress code. <strong>However, It is my choice to have the mothers match the fathers and that's exactly what I am going to do thank you for you suggestion and opinions.  You do things your way and I will do things my way.</strong>  Good luck on your day
Posted by kiaratmoore[/QUOTE]
Why do you not understand that this is not your choice to make, it's hers?

CaseyandSalley

yikes, is this really how you wanna start your relationship with Tomboy MIL?

You should stop being pushy

People dont change
Let her choose what she wants to wear dont make her be who she isnt.