Moms and Maids

bride in denial!

So I am maid of honor in my best friends wedding. She is getting married in October of 2012. Her sister is getting married this September, and her mom is insisting on making her wedding as big as her sisters. However she at this point in time would rather elope. She is so sick of talking about the wedding that everytime I see her, or talk to her (we live 100 mi. away from eah other) she doesn't want to talk about the wedding at all. I have no idea how I'm going to help her, if she won't talk about it. Plus I don't even know the other bridesmaids to get their opinion on the matter. How am I supposed to plan a wedding shower and bachelorette party if she won't say anything more than red is her color?

Re: bride in denial!

  • edited December 2011
    Stop asking her about it.  Leave it alone.

    In July or August you could revisit the shower idea, but if she isn't interested do not force it. 
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  • edited December 2011
    If the wedding is not until October 2012 just drop the wedding for now,  I'm getting married in October of 2011 and we are just now talking about showers and bachorlette parties.  SO you have a good year before having to decide on those things. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Agree with all of the above.  Stop talking to her about it.  Her wedding is a long way off and trust me a bride can get very tired of wedding planning especially if they start so far in advance.  My advice is the next time you talk to her talk about every day things and do not mention the words "wedding", "dress", "shower", "flowers", etc (pretty much anything to do with weddings).

    Oh and on a side note...her mother should not be forcing her to have a huge wedding if that is not what she wants.  She should talk to her Mom about her wishes sooner rather than later.

  • edited December 2011
    wow, your friend sounds just like me!!! lol
    Seriously, let her know that when and if she wants to talk about it youre there, but otherwise know this: I LOVE it when my bms and I talk about anything but the wedding. It was like once I had a ring every person in my life decided that all I was going to care about, think about, talk about, was the wedding. Like the rest of my life just came to a freaking screeching halt and the only thing anyone WOULD tlak to me about was the wedding.  Really though, just have fun doing anti-wedding stuff you always did before and maybe let her know if you'd like to throw a shower or w/e and ask if she wants one at all.
    Then talk to her mom perhaps if you need a list or anything, or let her know you will get the list from her mom if she seems agreeable to a shower etc and you still wnt to do one for her. I seems like this is her mom's circus anyways and I'm always trying to offload wedding work onto the ones who insisted we engage in this disaster...maybe mention that part to her if she's really overwhelmed and venting about her mom. I eventually told the moms "I have my dress and I know when  to show up. Your party, your problem." Now they are fighting with each other but at least they dont call me :)
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